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Im sorry
1 month ago · 0 · Explicit
40
So here's some background on me. In grade 10 I was so anxious I nearly got kicked out of school for not showing up. In the first semester of grade 11 I flew too close to the sun and actually did get kicked out. My only option this semester was to go online for my classes. I'm fucking drowning in work and everytime I try to do it there's more and more and more. So I keep getting behind. My parents are disappointed. I cant blame depression or anxiety. Right now since being out of school I have never felt this okay mentally. But everytime I think "hey it's going pretty good" it always ends up falling apart. I feel the little hairline fractures starting and I really dont know if I can get bad again. I swear to you I'm trying. I think something is really wrong with me. I'm perfectly able to do the work! I just cant fucking make myself do it! Why can't I do this one thing?! You know how many things would be better if I can just do fuckibg work like a normal person?!? Wverything that used to be blamed for this is gone. I'm not anxious, I'm not depressed, I'm confident, I like talking to people, I know my worth and I will let other people know too. BUT ITS STILL A PROBLEM. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU ANYMORE DO THIS ONE LAST THING RIGHT. One thing. One thing and I wont fall apart. I dont want to get bad again. I was doing so well. I AM doing so well but doing work is just slowly chipping at everything that has gotten better. I'm disappointing literally everyone.
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