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Stressed about the future
1 year ago · · Stress,
I consistently find myself stressing about the future, particularly about my mom.
What will happen when my mom can't drive anymore? What if she becomes disabled and I can't provide for her? What if something happens to me and she's left all alone? What if the money she has saved isn't enough?
I'm so deeply afraid of her falling into poverty and being left vulnerable in her old age -- she's worked so hard to rise out of it and it makes me sick to think that just getting old could put her back in due to systemic forces outside my control. And I fear the same for myself in the long run.
I know there are practical ways for us to address this together -- saving, planning, etc.
But sometimes I get so overwhelmed with fear that I can't help but hope that I die before I get old enough for these things to happen to me.
I've never seriously considered suicide, and I don't know how to deal with these thoughts of seeing death as a way out.
Just writing it all out helps though.