What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
So what I wish was not so long ago, but really a decade ago. I made a decision in the heat of the moment: to quit Football in the middle of Training Camp. To pull back to the beginning, I'd played Flag Football for a couple years before starting Tackle Football from 5th Grade through Sophomore Year. I was always the tallest kick in my class, so I harbored dreams of being a great short yardage/red zone Tight End. But as fortune would fail me I was stuck at a mid-major 4A Class School that needs all the big bodies they could get on OL/DL. Only Wal-Mart for 3 counties type of place. So I knew I'd never truly live my dream. One of my youth coaches in my 2nd Year took sympathy and designed a tackle-eligible play for me so I could go out for a route, but we never actually called it in a game.
Around that time I went to the 6th-8th Grade Camp our School District ran only to find that my Cousin and I were the only 6th Graders brave enough to play with the big bad Jr. High Kids. We got to do all kinds of crazy positional drills even for positions we never though we'd play since as the coaches said you never know how your body will develop between then and high school. Junior High was a mixed bag as it was playing on a bigger stage, but for a pretty lousy School. The only play noteworthy enough for me to remember was when my buddy forced a fumble and I just happened to be lucky enough to be the only one in the area to recover it. I probably should've tried to scoop and score, but I was so shocked and it was only a yard behind the line of scrimmage so I just dove for it. I started carrying it to the sideline with me in sheer delight and they had to remind me to throw it back to the referee. Perfect spiral right on the numbers btw.
Our District had be promoted from 3A to 4A in the previous generation and never recovered; now they've been "promoted" to 5A after I graduated and I doubt they'll ever see another playoff berth ever. Two crazy things we had going for us though going into my freshman year though was a) our state finally approved Spring Practice, and b) we had a new coach coming in with NCAA & fringe NFL Experience. And as awkward as it was going to Spring Practice as an 8th Grader for the Intended Fall it was a very exciting time! I was even challenging for a starting RT spot in our 1st ever Spring Game. From there we went to a multi-team challenge camp that summer at a respectable CUSA School. This was during the 2006 World Cup and I had to miss watching our shit-fucked opener against the Czech Republic as a consequence (probably for the best as 3-0 losses go), but it was still very exciting. And God love him my OL Coach who also turned into my HS Soccer Coach, but I was very glad to get coaching from other OL Coaches from the NCAA CUSA Progam and the other High Schools at the camp during position drills. It was a part of the state that gets lots of humidity and we're from the freakin' desert so we were sweating like a Taylor Swift Ex-Boyfriend on Album Release day, but we didn't care. #I'mASwiftie #ShakeItOff
Ultimately my challenge led to an upperclassman bucking up his performance and I was backup/JV Starter. That group of upperclassmen had heart, grit, and togetherness. We broke a two decades long playoff drought, but ultimately had a losing record both my Freshman and Sophomore Years: 5-6. At the beginning of said Sophomore Year in a freaking Preseason Scrimmage no less, my knee was blown out by my opponent. I missed half the season trying to get healthy, and had to watch as my hated rival got OL Playing Time because of another injury. The worst part was my Dad said he thought it'd have been me otherwise, and somehow my big frame in street clothes was motivating to our opponents despite me having never played a Varsity Game. And so the stigma begins, we had a dumbass playing on a partially torn MCL on OL/DL. Senior fighting for his Football Life trying to get a scholarship and get our team to the playoffs, but still. Of course by comparison I was getting called a pussy and every other name you can think of by my bullying teammates. When I finally did get healthy our upperclassmen were to, and I was a manchild dominating JV still scared of Varsity because of the injury.
That Spring I was at a breaking point where I could tell the team was irrevocably broken since our successful upperclassmen were gone, and in their place was the class above us and ourselves infighting amongst ourselves. I was starting to feel like it wasn't worth it anymore, and I wish I could've recognized it early enough to retire and not go to that Spring Practice. As absurd as it sounds since it's the same difference, but that would've been better for my social life as that wouldn't have been seen quite as bad a quitting. But no I wasted my whole summer in the program before during training camp I realized it was time. I was starting RT, and the only OL not committed to double duty on the DL. Since I'd gotten hurt on DL, I'd be getting bullied for not wanting to be on DL Scout Team previously. And I guess I knew I wouldn't be able to not go both ways. It's just numbers they'd have had to throw me out there at some point, and I wanted no part of it. I just wanted to protect my QB and run people over, but like I said. We're a shit mid-major high school.
Nowadays that we've got all of this new awareness about head injuries and the danger of Football in general; I don't regret it. I actually swing the other way and wish I'd never played at all and just focused on Soccer. I got my bell wrung plenty being the tallest and everybody's favorite defensive move is to hit the tall guy in the head. I probably had numerous unreported concussions and quite possibly CTE itself. I know it sounds like prisoner of the moment/climate type stuff, but I get random headaches now in odd places of the head. Places I know at one time were Football Impact Points, either direct or head-hitting-helmet-hit-ground. I'm 26 and I already feel old. It's my own fault; I agreed to play this sport and didn't see it through and finish the path. The team I abandoned in case you're wondering went 1-9, which I feel guilty about. But that Starting QB spiked the ball on 4th Down in one of our JV Games; I feel safe in saying I wouldn't have made a difference even at my best. In some respects I possibly missed out on a scholarship; probably D2 or D3. But College wasn't a learning environment I could handle anyways.
Now as a Married Man and a Potential Father I fear for my possible progeny. I don't want them to play Football. Too much damage for too little chance at D1, let alone NFL. But given my wife and I's personalities I know they'll want to. I'm glad the conversation of safety and research is a national one and that we're examining this. For the first couple years I couldn't even bring myself to watch the game, save my Green Bay Packers. But now I've become a full fledged fan again. We need the 'Greg Schiano Plan' to eliminate the Kickoff. As scared as I was of DL; Kickoff and Kick Return are scarier. Basically instead of Kickoffs, the scoring team or half starting team gets 4th & 15 on their 30,35,40 whatever yard line. The end result is usually the safer play in a Punt from Scrimmage, but crucially it preserves the "Onside Kick" with a play of similar success percentage. Of course in High School good teams would take advantage, so it would have to only be available for the last 4:00 of both halves or something to High Schools and Youth Teams. But the NCAA & NFL need the unrestricted version ASAP! Despite everything I ultimately I want the game to survive in a manner that still resembles the game we know and love. I'm willing and plan to donate my brain and skull to research, but hopefully I live long enough for us to have answers decades before that.
Friday Night Concussed.
P.S. Our JV has this odd agreement where we play this out-of-state smaller school and it counts as a Non-District Varsity Game for them. So Camps Aside, I still played 1 Varsity Game. And look what it cost me.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Thinking About You
I miss him the most in the morning, at night, and whenever I am walking alone. Today, he called me just to say good luck and hope I was doing well. My heart flu...
-
School Yard Bullying
I am a parent. I am very very introverted. I am shy, quiet, hate being centre of attention and most of all I avoid confrontation in any way or form. Today I fou...