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I've got a small Secret; It's all mine to tell.
This terrible Secret: I'm living in Hell.
I smile and wave and put on a show,
Hoping the others never have to know.
Hiding my anguish, Disguising my pain
And saying, "I'm fine" again and again.
When really, I feel like I've already died
But still this secret I feel I must hide.
Not wanting to burden or cause a scene,
Just looking calm and acting serene.
But hearing the suicidal voice,
Wanting me to make a final choice.
And yelling for help and finding none,
And wishing that my life were done,
Holding the pill bottle in my hand,
As if my will were beyond my command
And wondering if I'll see the morrow
Or if these pills will end my sorrow.
And should my life come to an end,
Who will be left to comprehend?
For if my pain is stricken dead,
Will not it to my loved ones spread?
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I'm so sorry that you're feeling so sad and upset. :( Please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline- 1-800-273-8255. I called them this morning when I was feeling super depressed, overwhelmed and suicidal and they calmed me down, listened, and cared for me nonjudgementally. I'm very grateful that I called them. Please consider it, if you are feeling that way.
ReplyIt's always best to keep it a secret. I fucked up once and told someone, wound up getting locked up for a year & a half. We have to make the decision ourselves, because usually we don't know anyone else who gets it. Do what you feel is best, not what someone else wants you to do.
Reply