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If you ask me where do I want to see myself after 10 years, I'll reply "A happily divorce women". Weird right?
I have seen many married couple who compromised every single day. Because it was arranged and before marriage they had no idea what the opposite person is like. Love marriage has also some negative point. But at least they knew each other thoroughly before marriage.
The problem is i want to do love marriage but i don't have a boyfriend. I am 21 and after 5-6 years I'll get married. But I doubt whether I'll find any love or not.
Let's assume I ended up with arrange marriage. There also I have doubt whether I'll be able to live with that person or not. Because from my past relationship experience i learned that I don't have the ability to compromise. And arrange marriage is all about compromising. So I feel that by the time I'll enter my 30's I'll be a divorcé. After divorce there's a very rare chance that I'll get someone who will love me.
So basically I have to live alone forever. But I don't want this.
When you don't want something you do things to avoid it. But guess what! For some weird reason I do want to live a life where I'll give divorce to my husband because things will not work in between us.
Though I want a relationship and marriage, I also feel like I am destroying that guys future. Because getting a divorce is my fantasy.
Can you believe this? 😓
God knows how my mind works 😒
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I think that you have the wrong idea about compromising..
What is actually that makes you say, that you are not able to do it? Like what part of it is that you can't accept?
Because it shouldn't ever be about giving up your goals ever. It's not about that. As I see, it's only about reaching your goals, in a way, that you are also thinking about the ones who are affected by it.
You don't have to give up anything actually. I know I never had to, and I was still able to arrange things in a way, that everyone was happy with it.
Whenever I wanted something, what I couldn't get, I just asked myself: Why do I want that? And then I got what I really wanted, instead of what I thought that I want, but in fact, was just a way of reaching my real goal.
ReplyI am sorry that you feel like that.
Even if you really think that you can't be happily married, I still think that if you understand why you feel like this, then you might develop yourself in a way that you will be able to overcome this. I honestly don't think that you have to be alone, if you are willing to better yourself.
You should try to understand the reason, why you feel that you can't be happily married, why you think that you have to divorce? Is it about not being able to compromise? Then ask yourself where is that coming from? Do you feel that it might make you seem weak if you are willing to consider the needs of others aswell as yours? If so, then you should ask: why is it so important to seem strong. I believe that every relationship should be built on trust, but if you feel that you need to always seem strong, it just means that you can't trust them. I might of course compeletly misunderstand you, since I don't know you, but that's what I think that you might need to work on: trusting others. And I know how hard it is, because I have difficulties with it aswell, but I think that it's worth the effort.
I hope that I could help you, even if it wasn't much.
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