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I am extremely introverted, yet I also have the want to connect with others. it takes me a long time to feel comfortable around people...
Anyways, long story short, I went to a dinner with my boyfriend's friends, who I was hoping to become closer with. We were drinking and it was all going okay, but then I smoked weed on top of that, and it extremely aggravated my already pressing social anxiety. I ended up uncontrollably crying in front of everyone...
These people are like saints though and were so amazing about it, so caring and understanding...but I still can't help but feel ashamed. I feel sad so much of the time, and I've tried therapy but it didn't really seem to help. I just feel like I can't find the way out of these crippling feelings and I don't know what to do.
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This is what I do: I realize that I am socially closed and that this is I, I realize that do not have to be like others in this time in this society (not always and not everywhere it is popular to be extrovert), I know that the more I resist the more energy is sucked from me so I just let it flow, if it gonna be awkward - well it is I. I am trying to be mindful ad much as I can, what it means, I keep adking myself what is it that I am feeling right now. As for my body, I figured that belly breathing reduces enxiety (not deep breath, belly breath). Also chemical antidepressants wont help just because they swing your mood up but then inevitably will be down phase; and weed is antidepresant; while alchohol is depressany - it never even swings mood up. So try to build your inner world step by step slowly but steadily so that it only improves and never crashes down, how? mindfull meditation, yoga, I would say prayer but it is much easier to find how to mexitate than how to pray (maybe it is just me)
ReplyI hope you see this. Thank you. Thank you for your response... I will do my best to try mindfulness and meditation. It’s just hard sometimes, but your words have helped me.
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