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I'm disconnected right now.
My mind is racing of all this things I should do, pushing it constantly for me to. But I don't feel it. I don't feel the emotions I usually do when I think about it.
I know I should be scared because I don't care. I just don't care at all and I think tonight might actually be the night.
I could do it easily, but then a small part of me is saying not to, that if I was really thinking I know I shouldn't for that one special person but...
I don't care.
I just don't know what to do.
Sure my mum and family are in the house, but mental illness is taboo. My mum knows but she doesnt do shit so why should I bother... You know?
I sure as hell don't.
I'm probably gonna stay on here for a bit, see if anyone happens to have good advice but I doubt it.
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u get me?
I dont want to do it anymore, but I want it to happen naturally. I dont want to the one who gave up but I want something to happen so that I dont have to do thi...
Please don’t. It probably seems hopeless now, and life might seem horrible or empty or whatever, but there is good and joy in the world. Trust me. Life is pretty mediocre but there are the moments of joy and love and happiness that we have to live for. I don’t know if you feel like no one will care or not, but I’m here to talk if you need it
ReplyOkay, first;
Listen to that part of you that is saying not to. That's the Angel on your shoulder whispering in your ear the right choice while the devil on the other shoulder is screaming what to do.
Second;
Any reason is good reason to stay with here, alive, with fellow human who can actually understand your pain. Be it for that special someone or for your favourite food or just to wake up every morning, every reason is a good reason.
If you need someone to talk to, here's my gmail;
coxjarrett20@gmail.com
we all love you.
ReplyI nearly attempted suicide two years ago. Don't do this. It's scary, and not worth it. Stay safe, please.
Reply