What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
My mother has custody of me, but i dont want to be with her anymore. I am 16 years old and my life with her has been just really hurtful and depressing. I know you shouldn’t talk bad about the person who gave you life because she still is my mother but she really hurt me mentally, physically and verbally. She was never really there for me. We never had those Mother to Daughter talks , she never told me this was going to happen if i did this.She never listened to me when i tried talking to her about something serious and she would sometimes make fun of me . She made me feel worthless... she would start cursing at me every-time i started to talk to her about my life or what i did. She would always down talk on me and made me feel weak. I went through alot of depressing moments on my own. Thankfully i use to have this bestfriend that would help me alot when no one was there for me but years later she became my ex bestfriend and i was really sad because now i was really alone. I started taking the wrong path and i had to move on and pick myself up, everything on my own because she never noticed or just never cared. I hated the fact that my mom wasn’t supportive, always criticized me and said all these lies to other family members to make me look like the “bad daughter” , would see me cry but just made fun of me and her words hurt me the most . Words that i think a mother should never use to describe her daughter. She only treats me really nice when her boyfriend treats her nice and when she was mad or something didn’t go right she would only take it out on me just to please him because he’s never liked me. He hit me three times and my mom didn’t do anything about it but defend him when i tried calling the cops. When i ran away and i came back my little step sister valeria told me how happy he was i left the house but when i came back how mad he was but that he didn’t want me back living in the house, Now im currently staying with my aunt because she took me in since they didn’t want me and my mom still receives child support but keeps most of the money, its been two months and my mom has given my aunt very little money which isn’t fair. She also lied about living alone with me and my other sister which isn’t even true.My mom keeps most of the money the whole time , she never wants to buy me anything with the money that my dad sends because she says i have a place where to sleep and that i eat so basically she only spends it on the rent and food and maybe even for herself like to pay for her car because she’s not done paying for it. She made me feel really low at a point where i tried killing myself . Before trying to do something i tried seeking for help ... so i went to my oldest brother but hes just like my mom.... i told him everything and all he said is “you have to put up with it” so basically let them treat me the same way they have till i turned 18 but i couldn’t i was really depressed and just felt really tired of everything. I didn’t have anyone and i felt alone..... well i was. I thought maybe my brother could’ve helped me but he’s exactly just like my mom he’s hit me before too because of my mom. That’s when i started thinking about our right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness and i remember thinking how did he put the pursuit part in there.....that maybe happiness is only something that we can pursue and that maybe actually we can never have it...no matter what. How did he know that.
I had lost my hope and i had nothing left, there was no love in my household or in my life.I was unhappy. If i couldn’t look forward to tomorrow then what was the point of today? . The pain was getting to much to bear , dealing with the hurt. To feel like no one’s there during all my pain, like no one understands me. I struggled through those days with no one by my side. I tried to find some sort of worth or reason to stay alive. I had no effort left to put in this life, no helping hand behind me to put me into the light. I just wished someone had cared. I thought about how happy i could’ve been if i was never born because i mean i guess i know why my mom is like this... because i mean i was a mistake. She noticed the scars i had in my arm but said she didn’t say anything because she didn’t care. She also told me i was worthless and that im a failure. So i was going to drop out and she didn’t care but then i ended up staying in school because she was going to get introuble. She never payed attention to what i was doing or what i went through. Want to know why? I started doing drugs to ease the pain and she didn’t notice, never did. I had a boyfriend for years and she never noticed i would bring him to the house and she never noticed. Why? Because she was never there. She never noticed. She probably doesn’t even know who i am. Sometimes i had to act with her because if i didn’t act like i liked her she wouldn’t buy me anything. So i mean if you were in my position you would’ve done the same because i needed clothes and so i had to act happy half of the time she was there but behind that smile that was how i actually felt. Sad. In the other case my dad , Hes the best dad ever and i appreciate him and love him so much. He’s always taken good care of me since i was little always tried his best even on our hard times when he was struggling. But he always, always has taken care of me right. And when he left to California it was like a piece of me was missing . I was really sad because i wasn’t going to see him anymore... but when i went to California to see him for the first time in 4 years he was still the same of course but with him and his wife (my stepmom) and my little sisters im really happy. Everyone is welcoming and really nice . When i get there its just a really happy moment for me but when i leave the last day i always cry because im coming back to a place I’m not happy in and my stepmom notices this. Maybe you’re asking why i waited so long to decide to leave till now. Well i have like two people that were the only reason why i was going to put up with it till i was 18 like my brother said . Elijah my nephew i took care of him since he was one month but hes sick well he has a weak immune system and i was scared to leave him and god forbid something happened to him i would never forgive myself because i wasn’t going to be there to see him for the last time bc he had a seizure but we didn’t exactly know how a seizure looked so i was just in shock and my heart stopped for a second because i thought he was dead and he needs me . But i have to do this for my own good and for my sake. Im really scared of my mom that’s another reason why i ran away but i feel like she would only want me for the money that she gets because of me but i rather be with my dad where i can be happy and do so much better in school with no stress. I just need help, and honestly till this day i still think about how it would be if i wasn’t here anymore...how everything would be better. Its just sad knowing you’re alone and that your mom doesn’t care about you
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Garbage
I'm lonely, and depressed, and bored out of my mind. Everything I loved has lost its luster. I have artists block, which people are no help with, I can't find n...
-
I wish...
I wish people could see how hard I try to be liked. I good at a lot of things, I mean a lot. I taught myself how to play instruments, sing, paint and draw, fix...
I feel your pain...really sorry
ReplyTrying to stay as strong as possible. Dm me if you ever need advice or need someone to vent to
Reply