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I Need To Do This...
5 years ago · · Love,
Write down every word designed to break me.
What they dont realize is that im already broken.
So every word said of now, I let it soak in.
Im not thick-skinned, far from it.
I read her words and Im gutted but not surprised.
Ive been expecting it since I told her goodbye all those years ago.
I turned my back.
Didnt look back.
I can't divulge every reason why except I hated them.
And she was just in the way.
Im appalled at my treatment of her.
She did not deserve it.
I deserve her hatred.
Reading those words was like a kick in the guts.
But Ill cop it on the chin.
Thats all I can do.
But she wants glorified guilt and remorse.
She wants to be the cause of my happiness.
The reason I die.
The reason I live.
But shes not. That spot is already taken.
She will never have that vacancy inside my soul that she badly desires.
For only one in my heart of who I will never discard.
I wish I could give her a part of me.
But it's not to be.
No its not him who becomes the number one and my everything.
In case you were wondering.
It is the joy, the sadness, the longing of what will never again be.
could ever take her place.
Not even God