What are you looking for?
An unkept promise.
1 year ago · · Regrets,
I love being your teacher. Your such a wonderful gril.I look forward reading your novel one day.
Above was a note writen to me on a blank page in a copy of Ralph s. Mouse. There are other notes in books and on papers from my former teachers throughout the years.
I cry when I read them, because I feel like I've failed them. These teachers helped me through mental and physical handicaps. Let me skip recesses so I could avoid being bullied for them. Allowed to take walks durring class after I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.
They expected me to do great things cuz they could see the creativity I had. That I had so many ideas and knew so many things. I still remember my high school history teacher saying that they would have rather had a classroom filled with me the normal students they got stuck with.
I'll be 21 in January and most days I don't want to see that birthday come around. I feel like I've been selfish and I haven't lived up to my potential. I wonder how they would feel if they knew I was going to college to be a teacher. That I have so many different written works on my computer and hate every single letter in each of them.
I've been absolutely lucky to met the teachers I have. It hurts to to think about what they would say if they saw me now on the slow track they getting my accreditations and still seeing the same therapist I had from 11 years ago.
I wish I could just be happy for what I've gotten done instead of crying about promises that I won't be able to keep.