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To the boy I Loved,
Do you ever wonder about me like I wonder about you? I guess you don’t, since you are busy thinking of her. For once I wished you choosen me once, and showed me how much you loved me. Yet, I was the one giving and giving. I don’t regret loving nor dating you. It was the best times of my life. I envy her so much, I envy her looks, her personality, her body, she’s everything I couldn’t be. And she’s doing everything I couldn’t do. She’s amazing and perfect for you. But my love for you was so much, yet you never seen it. Love makes you blind they say? Yet you weren’t blinded by my love, only I was. I gave you everything, even when I had nothing. I made you my number one when in reality family should always stand first. I always wonder why you were always hurting me over and over. I know I allowed you too. But I wished you haven’t had hurt me so much, because each time that you did I was slowly dying and giving up. Until I had enough, I wished I was strong enough and held on. But I can only hold on for so long. You have always put me down, I just felt like I was never enough and I can never be enough. I just wanted to be perfect for you and for us. I was so busy trying to love you, and fit your needs and wants. I have forgotten to love myself in the process. Yet I still long for you, that’s what love does to you right? It makes you get lost in the thought of it. That’s what it does to me when it comes to you. I don’t want to wait, because I know how happy you are with her. you are so in love and happy that im also happy. Im not sad to be where I am since I have become so much more now. You have brought me to the end of my live life. I don’t even want to fall in love. To the person I love and yet I still continue to love you.
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