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Late night thoughts about how people have questioned me. Thought it might raise some good points and remind us to never doubt or question ourselves and be YOU.
5 years ago · 0 · Rant, +12 · Explicit
968
In just the last few weeks I’ve been put down, my personality has been questioned and I’ve had people comment on my decisions. After struggling to sleep because of all these things running through my head, I thought I’d write them down:
I was made fun of because I got emotional after a very humbling conversation with a stranger.
A man in an electric wheelchair approached me on the underground in Berlin to ask if I was ok. He had noticed cuts and bruises on my legs that I had got from falling off a rental bike in Slovenia. After I explained how I’d got the bruises and assured him I was ok, we chatted about my reasonings for being in Berlin until we arrived at my stop and I said my goodbyes.
I was overwhelmed with emotions because I was touched by his kindness to see if I was ok, despite being unable to walk himself. It made me reflect on my attitude towards my life and think about the many areas of my life in which I am so lucky.
Why was I made to feel embarrassed about showing emotions and for expressing feelings that I had for taking the time to really think about how lucky, healthy and fortunate I am in many areas of my life?
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I got called embarrassing because I was going out with some new friends after only spending time with them a few days before.
I was criticised for having theses plans with the new friends because they were ‘boys’ and apparently the ‘boys’ in my life are hard to keep track of.
Why should I be made to question who I am friends with and who I spend time with based on their gender?
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Being questioned and pulled up on the fact I am often seen smiling and laughing at myself.
Why should I be made to feel like I am doing something wrong when I am comfortable with myself enough to be able to laugh and be humoured by things such as my shit jokes or stupid thoughts I get in my head?
Smiling isn’t a crime? More people should smile even when they’re alone, it would be a much nicer world if giving a smile and receiving one back wasn’t so hard. A smile to yourself may be seen by someone else and help remind someone else that they don’t have it that bad after all.
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“The problem is you’re just too nice to say no” - this was used in a conversation about an unpleasant experience I had with a male whilst at university.
Why should being a nice person be used in the context to justify why a male did what they did despite me not wanting him to do so. Is a girl that doesn’t say the word ‘no’ just a nice girl that doesn’t want to let a boy down? Or is a boy using the fact she is a nice girl, as a weakness to be able to get away with being more forceful with a situation?
I don’t think I should be criticised for being too nice as a result of being in a particular situation. A male should be able to understand and accept and read if the girl is not wanting to participate in a particular action.
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