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I wish I hadn't joined the Army, I loved it but I can't leave it trying to explain things to people who don't get it but at the same time my own fellow vets don't get it I get pity I get sympathy I get drugs. I want to undo it I wish I could go back and change my choices I still see his hand when I close my eyes sometimes
the way it looked the blood and bones I blocked it out so well but now it comes back and knowing it's my fault I remember the screaming how it didn't look like the movies what actual trama looked like i still smell the smell hear the sound I still jump at noises how do I explain that the nightmares are not persistent but they come and go when I'm stressed people think I'm lying. I get a lot of wow that sucks.
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