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How does one know which is the best way to cope with things where you're always being under pressure,feeling constantly concerned and stressed out? Which is the best way to cope if you have alot on your plate and alot to accomplish? If you suffer from anxiety, depression and low self-esteem,how do you cope with that too?
How do you cope with toxic surroundings that only drags you down and does nothing more but add on to your problems?
The way my life has been going so far and what I've been through has put me under alot of distress for the past 3 years. It's not like I haven't tired at all to cope with things each time something came up in the best way I could,I have. It hasn't worked out for me when things have piled up. It has set me back even further than I intended it to be. I feel worst than before with everything going on and I'm not sure now that things have escalated, if I could come out of this. If I don't do something and overcome my issues,I'm screwed. I have been going crazy and wanted to end myself because I can't live like this anymore. I couldn't bring myself to do it, to get it over and done with. I'm not in the best surroundings that makes things easier on me, in a sense of getting emotional and mental support. I am on my own having to deal with this myself and the negative surroundings that proves itself to be unhelpful in more ways than I could describe. I get no chance, not even to breathe, not even to relax in order to regain myself and work on myself. Be able to improve and get out of situations that I don't want to be in. Have had so many moments where I want to give up and have, because it's overwhelming with everything happening all at once.
Where can I even begin when tasks have managed to piled up on my shoulders and then have to deal with other unnecessary problems?
Whenever i engage in doing anything to get back on my feet, for a short time it goes well and suddenly I become filled with doubt and concern due to issues around. I get knocked down again and pulled back not only because of myself but from my surroundings too. I am really tired of being dragged into things that shouldn't of been or be my problem and then stuck in them. It's unreasonably unfair and there's no relevant reason to put up with it. People give feedback like "oh, you'll be fine". etc...I may look fine and try to make myself feel better through my drawings, taking pictures to feel good about myself and dance around. I try to do something productive at home and still it's not enough for me to feel better. It doesn't mean I'm not struggling internally because I look okay. I'm not freakin fine and I'm not okay for the longest time. I can't find anything happy about my life and everything in it because there's always something that has to go wrong. When things do go well its only for a short period of time. Sure, things go wrong in life but continuously almost on a daily basis, for 3 years now?
I have so little hope in anything these days. I believe something will go wrong and it won't workout because it never does when I have tried. It's not good enough and didn't try hard enough, is that it? It has become the norm for me to think any good in my life won't last and I have tolerated, taken things in and move forward before but done so for years now. These days I'm now getting sick and tired of fighting the same battle. People don't really understand and give me the "suck it up" method responses. I'm at my limits and I feel I will never measure up to anything at this point because nothing allows me too. Who knows, I have a sense that it keeps getting worst and just when I think things couldn't get worst,it does. I have been feeling paranoid for many reasons. I'm on edge about people stalking me, following me around and spreading rumors about me. Basically, coming up with assumptions about me and just sabotage who I am, making me out to be a monster of some kind. It doesn't end there.I was wondering for the longest time if people were doing things to me on purpose, out of spite and to test me. The way people have acted towards me in public and when I was in school couldn't say if it was normal anymore. The behaviors wasn't justified and trust me, I have no issues coming up with reasons why they may behave that way, but it's the repeatitive behaviors that had me question about what's going on and what's their problem with me? It has gone on for so long that it made me completely uncomfortable and isolated. I hardly trust people anymore as I once use too. I have had panic attacks thinking someone was out to get me and hurt me in my house, nobody was there. I was thinking I was hacked and my privacy was invaded or that I've been exploited. Had issues with important things like my emails and bank code. I thought I might be a victim of fraud or identity theft because things weren't working properly on my device and wouldn't make sense why certain things have changed. I'm still doubtful and skeptical about everything being okay when I have had things come up which threw me off that did not seem normal. Get harrassed by my neighbors and nit picked at, for the most petty things. Have them put things on our door out of hatred, again for no reason. How a few acted around us wasn't welcoming. I get some people are plain asshole's but that certainly didn't help. I don't feel safe anymore with my surroundings. Part of my problem is people, with the strange incidences and what they caused towards me WITHOUT A REASON. I can't for the longest time eat at restaurants anymore, without feeling like someone would do something to my food and manipulate it. I hardly leave the house and I don't go out at all anymore as oppose to before. So many unexplainable things that I see what others do towards me. How am I suppose to be okay afterwards when people contribute to causing me more emotional and mental distress.
Was their method of doing this to me for the purpose to gain something out of me. Manipulate me into thinking I'm crazy and isolate me to have power or control over me. I don't know what the fuck it is or what was going on for it to be this way. Why the fuck me, if I am nothing special. What do people get a kick out of harming me and making me go insane.
How can I defend myself when I feel attacked at every angle? My surroundings have done nothing more but harmed me and take advantage of me.It doesn't seem like I will ever be given a chance to be happy and successful. What ever they have been doing has fucked me up more and no wants to be held accountable for it. How cruel and selfish can people be to play and mess around with someone's life? How fucked up are they to bother me for no reason? I keep getting beaten down and end up always the punching bag, the target for others even if I did nothing. Somehow, i am magically expected to be okay afterwards? Are you people fucked?! I had enough and I'm too the point where I could pack up my bags and leave town because of this. Getting threats and mistreated even online, on novni. There was so many occasions and incidences since I've been on this platform too.
Nobody did anything to help and stand up for me. Nobody told me the truth if they knew what was going on. NOBODY FUCKING CARED ENOUGH ABOUT MY WELL BEING. Others getting a kick out of me suffering. What a great life to deal with this all for nearly 3 years continously, non stop. Nobody ever being sorry about it. I'm just suppose to take everyone's shit and be sorry for things I do wrong. Other way around, different story?
Tell me, try coping with all that and see if you wouldn't want to kill yourself afterwards. I never got the answers to understand why this was happening to me and why hasn't anyone come forward about it??
Why for fuck sake?
People seem so damn oblivious and have no idea what people have done to me. What and how much it caused me to feel even worst. I tolerated alot in my life, so much from everyone and everything. I'm not the type to bring trouble to me and I hardly would. I'm done now, it has ripped me apart and sucked so much energy out of me to where I barely have anything for myself. I rather just leave and not tell others where I am going. I dont even feel comfortable to tell others because i can hardly trust anymore to tell them. People get away with doing shit things to me and not have to pay for the consequences. I want to leave so bad and never turn back. I can't leave because I have things to finish and I need money. Haven't managed that because of everything else.
It doesn't take much to ruin someone's life deliberately, does it?
I'm in a very horrible situation than I ever been at the moment. I don't know if I can take this anymore and I've so little hope about my life. Feels like I have no chance to gain back my life and be okay. It has all took such a toll on my wellbeing and I feel hopeless against it all.
Nobody seems like they can help because they don't understand. I can't get any breaks from my toxic surroundings and I feel trapped.
It has freaking destroyed me. You think it's just a coping problem... No. There's so much more to it than that and what am I left with after? Feeling empty.
No hope.
No escaping.
No change and improvements.
No happiness.
No success.
No future.
All because of me right? No, not exactly. I'm suppose to not be enraged,to have self control and not murder someone (metaphorically speaking). What a way to blame the victim for their outcome when their surroundings contribute to creating more issues and to deliberately cause turmoil or harm towards that person. I didn't deserve any of it and it will never be justified.
What real advice could be helpful in my case?
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Maybe you should move somewhere new where no one knows you.
If you still feel paranoid when you do, talk to a doctor.
ReplyI was thinking the same thing but even when I was traveling away. I felt followed... I don't understand why. I don't know if it's me feeling paranoid or not. I don't know where to go that seems safe area to be and i can't even leave now even if I wanted to. Don't have the funds to just go.
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