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Wishy-washiness reflects a current internal wavelength (frequency) of “I don’t know”. What many don’t seem to understand when it comes to life, is that your vibe (frequency), mental state and emotional state will either attract or subtract people and things from your life.
While some might smirk and roll their eyes while calling it “pseudoscience”, science has proven the effects that frequency has on attraction (creation). If you take a vibrating tuning fork and bring it near a still tuning fork, the standing tuning fork will begin to vibrate at exactly the same frequency. This is why you can feel amazing around certain people and less than stellar around others. Energy never lies. It’s why when good energy is within you and around you, more good things keep coming your way—and vice versa.
Our vibes were so amazing in the beginning and then emotions got in the way as they might in that situations. And just as we were learning to navigate those emotions and start to let them guide us, control (for lack of a better term) was lost. Or so I wanted to assume; Control was there all along.
Deep down, I knew that the continued frequency of indirection mixed with uncertainty of what was truly desired would create and attract the perfect match/frequency of the aforementioned and events would transpire to carry out those thought-patterns and see it through. Believing/knowing this, I sought security in having a sense of “certainty”. I don’t agree with the philosophy that nothing is certain. I believe in knowing what you want. I believe in “fake it til you make it”. And that’s not akin to putting on a smile until you feel happy (although, that is applicable). To “fake it” is to imagine it in your mind and in your heart while actively living it/moving towards your goal UNTIL you create/ “make it”. To believe without a shadow of a doubt with all your heart and soul that you will create and have the life you want...and then, it shall be done. Even The Bible states that is you ask, it will be given to you.
Matthew 7:7-8
7 "Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you.
8 For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks, finds. To him who knocks it will be opened.
We are creators. We have God energy within us. Christ Consciousness. We are created in his image. We create our reality. Not in a Law of Attraction way but beyond that. You can’t just “think” things into existence. You speak it, you FEEL it, you become a perfect match to what you want. Anyway, I digress.
In regard to his vibe right before things fell apart, I could see that I was starting to match his frequency of uncertainty. I was the stationary tuning fork. That’s not to say that I wasn’t vibrating my own Hz, but being as receptive as I am (I hate to use the word empathy, but I suppose I will) I could feel it from him. More and more. I told him I could feel his vibe change he told me that I was basically being unfair. And maybe I was. Maybe it would’ve been better to not say anything. Actually I tried and I got called out for my distance.
Again, trying to transmute that vibe, I sought reassurance. Security. To be able to have/feel “fake” certainty with the mindset of co-creating our future. But more and more I felt his vibe change and so did mine accordingly. (This is not to say that I blame him.)
And then the universe conspired forgainst us, and crazy events took place and before I knew it, *poof* we vibed out of each other’s lives.
My attempts at creating a higher, stronger vibe within myself that hopefully would cause him to give higher and match me wasn’t able to be reached. Never quite reaching that sweet spot. There were times when it felt so close, like we could almost have it all, but maybe subconsciously I knew that the vibe I kept experiencing from him was, perhaps, more certainty of his “uncertainty”. Again, that’s not to say that I blame him. I am victim to my own creation in the feeding of the low vibes that were brought my way—unable to transmute them. Perhaps one of my biggest failures. And yet still, maybe I knew (felt) what he really wanted and I subconsciously manifested/co-created with him. And now we are no longer a match. Having vibed out of each other’s lives for good—but my heart still puts out a high frequency of happiness for him and the life that he was able to create/ co-create.
The universe is strange, but it’s really quite simple once you learn the principles of it.
So I suppose I say all that to say this...
For those out there wanting certain things in life, try to understand the importance of your energy and where you put it. Above all the importance of what you FEEL. The mind truly is all. You create your reality through what you create and feel in your mind/body. To think that “everything is for a reason” is quite true; just know that YOU are the reason for everything. And so with that said, I have to admit more directly than indirect this time, that I played a role in losing a chance at a life with him. Ironically, I look back and see why I kept pressing the idea of pressing pause on us until everything was sorted out and then press play again when that time came. But he said that selfishly he couldn’t allow that. I sometimes wonder how that thought process alone played a role in the overall scheme of things.
And so I see even more clearly how things fell apart. Complicated yet simple.
But through it all, as we near Thanksgiving, and I sit and reflect all that I am thankful for, I am forever thankful that he is happy and he has created the life he’s always wanted. It truly makes me smile for him and I will always vibe high for him when it comes to that.
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I don't believe in religion, but I do believe in the "energetic frequencies" and "vibing" with other people part. Sometimes instead of being sad about losing someone, I think to myself that we went our own ways because we were on different frequencies now.
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