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A play on words...on a name really.
My brother started dating someone who had dated in the past. She and her family were friends from when us kids were in middle school. They broke up before because this girl had trust issues and all sorts of other stuff.
But they started dating again. She was going to counseling, they were taking things slow. I had my reservations and doubts for no other reason than my brother got so hurt the last time they dated.
Well here we are again. They had an argument about something and somehow I got brought into it. All because of something I said to my brother in confidence at my grandfather's funeral. Why she knew about it at all is beyond me but the fact that my words got so twisted in her mind is unbelievable.
I was a caregiver for most of my life to my other brother who was severely disabled. He was on a ventilator for the last 10 years of his life. I don't talk about it much outside of this forum because its so damn depressing...but it was not easy. Most of the time it straight out sucked. I loved my brother and if we went back in time I'd still choose to help him. But in a random statement to my brother who is still with me I said something along the lines that if someone who was disabled asked me out, I would probably not pursue a relationship with them. I believe everyone has worth and deserves to be loved but in some ways I am scarred from taking care of my brother. And I went on to be a nurse. I love my job and I love people. But I am tired. And I don't think it makes me a bad person to say that I wouldn't want to walk into a relationship knowing I would have to provide that kind of care for someone.
Somehow these words and some of my deepest thoughts, things I didn't share lightly, got twisted and suddenly this girl my brother was dating is accusing me of telling him not to date her because she has MS. I didn't even know she had MS. I haven't said one word to my brother about who he should or shouldn't date. I was hoping for the best for them. I can tell he loves her. Why am I being brought into this at all??! And she had blocked me so I can't set the record straight. Real mature.
Its not my business. I wanted no part in it. Now I have someone out there thinking terrible things about me that are entirely untrue. I needed this like I need a hot poker in my eye. I was already feeling pretty miserable and here is the icing on the cake.
-M🐦
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I'm sorry :( that all sounds like a aweful situation. Just take it easy on yourself. You're not the problem.
ReplyTalk to your brother ask him how this happened but then try calmly to ask the girl and if she acts immaturly then leave try again if you feel you need to if and when you see her act as nicely as you can smile wave she will get confused it's a great thing called killing them with kindness
ReplyI've already talked at length with my brother about the situation. I have no way of contacting this person and at this point, have no desire to. I will never be outright unkind to her even after this but I have no plans to ever see or speak to her again. She has mental issues (and I mean this with all the respect in the world for people with mental health disorders). She needs help. But she is unwilling to take it from my brother who has tried to help her.
ReplyWell I hope all works out for you just Don't feel guilty for her choice
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