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I am filled with guilt this morning. I should be at church. I keep thinking about sins I've committed.
I keep wondering why I keep doing stupid things. I was for example at a boyfriend's house one day. It was in the middle of the day. My boyfriend had to go to help his family. I was 14 at the time. I was feeling bored waiting for him in his bedroom to return. I knew he and his family would be away for a couple of hours. I took off my clothes. I looked at porn and masturbated on a big L-shaped sectional couch in their family room.
My boyfriend's father came home. I dIdn't even hear him enter. My boyfriend's dad watched me masturbate and things. He never said anything until I was done. He said he just watched me because he didn't want to interrupt me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable a grown man watched me do all that. I have never told the boy what his dad did. I was really close to that boyfriend. He even texted me a Happy Thanksgiving turkey picture on Thanksgiving day. I just can't face him or his family after that. I have all these strange experiences and memories.
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