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To the only person to have broken my heart
I’ve had my soul shattered, my fire put out, the light taken from my eyes, the breath knocked out of me, the smile stolen from my lips. That was all before I met him. I met him when all I had left to offer was my heart. I had protected it with everything else I had. I don’t know if it was because he just happened to be there when the wall came tumbling down or if it was him that made it fall. But when that wall around my defenseless heart came down, it was him that it saw. Things with him were spectacular, a side of myself I had not seen in a long time had come out. My smile had returned to my lips like it had never left, every breath was effortless, the light in my eyes shining brighter than ever before, the fire burning, and my soul had come back together seamlessly. Everything was perfect. Was it because of him? It had to have been, right? Then he became distant, then close again, hot and then cold. Caring but so careless. But then he left.. without a word.. without a reason.. no explanation, just vanished. I thought for a moment that without him, all the things that came back to me when he became a part of me, would also vanish. I mourned the loss of not just one but two people I had grown to love. Not just him, but you too. Seeing you every morning, listening to your favorite songs, doing things you loved to do, laughing at things you thought were funny. Living life the way you wanted to. You were happy. Why did that change? Because you thought it was him.. you thought it was him who brought the smile to your lips, the fresh air to your lungs, the heat to your fire, pieced together your soul, the light back to your eyes. It was you. You broke my heart. You didn’t mean to, I know. It happens. I understand. When you’re careless, and use it as much as you did, it was bound to happen. I put a wall up, so I could fix it, it took some time. I should have told you how much stronger it would be than the last time you used it. You loved him, you did. But in order to love someone you must first love yourself, you learned to do that. That’s what it took to knock that wall we built around our heart down. That’s what it took to bring back our smile, our light in our eyes, our fire within, the air to our lungs, our broken souls back together. Don’t mourn me I’m still here, I am you, you are me. He didn’t break our heart, we did, but now we know how to put it back together.
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