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I'm turning 20 in exactly one month. I'm a junior at university and I am a failure. Mediocrity is failure in my family and I am as average as they come. I'm studying graphic design and I am terrible. It's not that I make ugly things, its just that they aren't special. In my professors opinion I am basic and do not produce work that she finds aesthetically appealing enough for her to buy. I get mostly B s within my major but in electives I excel. They're all writing based and I'm a good writer when I want to be. So I applied for a writing competition. I never told anyone that I write. I put myself out there. I extended the one thing that I am slightly proud of that is untainted by opinions. I got rejected. The one thing that I didn't allow people to let me doubt myself in has now been deemed mediocre as well. I'm not dumb but I'm also not smart. I can draw but not without reference. My english is good but not great. I'm so mad at myself for even trying ... I ruined the on thing I had going for me. I am 20 and I don't have any achievements; I barely have friends. I think I am a waste of space, a waste of air as one of my professors had said. Maybe she's right. All I do is take my parent's hard earned money and waste it on an education that someone else deserves more. The difference between me, a mediocre person, and someone with talent is privilege that I don't want. There's this pressure of measuring up to expectations and being even more successful than your parents, but I will probably die alone in a 1 room apartment if I can even afford it.
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Sure, you can choose to focus on everything that you feel is wrong with you. It won't get you anywhere but you can choose to do that. Or you can choose to focus on personal growth and developing skills and becoming the person you want to be, which is likely to get you a lot farther in life.
ReplyHey!
Being an average is not bad thing!
I myself believe i am one!
The funniest part is during my school days i was a nt topper bt an above average student, bt during my graduation days, i would say sometimes i m nt even average!
Initially yes i was nt liking them!
Bt then i was like i was happy and satisfied in wht i was doing!
Today ,
I knw tht each work tht i do may nt the expected or satisfied work bt i knw i hve worked my ass out of it and i am proud of it!
U knw some are born smart and some are hard workers and i come under hardworking category where ppl literally laugh at my face for doing so!
Bt i am fine wid it! Coz i knw wht ever i am doing i am giving my 100% to it!
Btw if ur professor is a person who talks to u like this , u urself should rate her overall as ur teacher!
According to me a teacher is someone who pushes,encourage her students no matter wht!
For me i respect those teachers who gve time,motivation to her students who are below average!
So i guess in short i jst wanted to let u knw winning is nt everything, participation is!
So, hope u have beautiful days coming!
God bless !
ReplyYou're only 20 years old. You can't expect to already be a master of something. And more importantly, you shouldn't compare your capabilities and achievements to others'. Even though I've been hearing this a lot growing up, I only discovered recently that I do that way too often and that just how toxic this kind of thinking can be. (I mean I think there is a healthy amount of competitiveness that can make you more driven and successful, but that's a different topic.) And don't listen to professors who say stuff like that; remembre, succesful and happy, confident people try to lift up others not let them down and make them feel bad. It's very likely she's just projecting her own dissapointments onto you. You still have a lot of time to find out what your're good and what you want to do. And if it's really writing, then take up creative writing lessons or join a club or something where people share their stories and help each other write, read a few books on how to write, how to bulid a story. It's rare to born with raw talent that doesn't need any learning or preparation; but you can learn and improve yourself with work.
ReplyEveryone has something they excel in. Rejection is a part of life -feel bad for yourself, give yourself 24 hours of sadness, then move on! Wallowing isn’t healthy; this is an opportunity to learn and grow. Hone in on your craft, truly make it yours and when you are ready allow yourself to be judged. Just remember with positive feedback there will also be negative words.
As for your professor I am appalled. I work in the education field and it is never acceptable to belittle a person’s value. If you think your work is mediocre that okay, in some way it is different, it might be too small to notice at first. One day you’ll find your passion and inspiration, maybe not in architecture, but you will find it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Good luck my friend.
ReplySome already good advices on the previous comments so I wouldn't repeat them. But myself as an artist, anyone draws without reference is bullsht. There's no such thing that as any artist should draw without reference in art rules. I get these sort of views from a lot of students even teachers, and if someone tells you that too, sorry to say but that kind of mindset is just shallow. If you aren't seeing or understand of what you see, hear or feel something carefully, the art will be dull or lifeless. But I don't mean that those styles aren't real art, there's a few category in arts but I will just explain the famous two; 1) you draw whatever that will look awesome or 2) you draw something that you want to express on. The first is what most would do, whatever technique they are using it not matters except to get attention. The second one is difficult, you can't express story or meaning without a cause to begin with, there should be something happening or a memory to put into the canvas, there should be; a reference. Without it, nobody going to understand them, because you have nothing to explain or to relate on. That's why many artists pick the first choice, because it's easier to create something from just imaginations, but it wouldn't go anywhere further than what they have create. Reference doesn't just mean to copy, but it has more than that. Taking reference means you value the nature of beauty, the history, the living, emotions, everything. But most of all you value yourself, and you're honest with your own weaknesses and willing to grow from what there is already in front of you... *note; stealing art is different than using them as reference that is the; presentation.
If you get into art industry mostly in bigger company, they appreciate artists who uses a lot of references in their work. I hope you will feel better soon, take some time and practice, rest if you need. It's okay to be weak in certain aspects. Most successful people were once so called losers, all they do to change that is by getting up. Goodluck 🙏
ReplyYou are not your parents. They will be upset yes. But get that degree and then find a job in the field that pays a living wage and go back for something YOU want. Find your passion. If its not computers maybe its nature or animals or music. Your only 20. You dont have to figure it out today. I am 23 and i am still trying to finish my degree. Granted i never had any support financially or emotionally but thats not what makes a person great. Its looking in the mirror and saying that your not where you want to be yet.. that doesnt mean you never will be. Keep your head up. Itll get better.
ReplyDon't get lost into thinking that if you don't stand out, discover limitless talent, or make a breakthrough discovery, that you are not worthy. We are all told that one day we will make our dreams a reality, one day we will do what we love for a career, one day everything will just make sense and that is not the case. The reason everyone doesn't become an athlete or the next rocket scientist is because those are sky high standards. You don't need to create art that people gravitate to in order to be a good artist, you don't need to be Shakespeare to be considered a good writer, you don't need to win competitions to feel accomplished. You don't need to be more successful than your parents to make them proud.
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