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I was in the fitting room with my best friend yesterday. I started crying cause I gained so much weight I went up 4 sizes. My friend kept on forcing me to change my style and I didn't want to cause I wear over sized sweatshirts to hide away my weight. I'm not fat don't get me wrong. I just feel like I'm not good enough for everyone. I used to have a 6 pack and now I lost it but I'm starting to get stretch marks on my thighs and stomach. My sister is obese and My parents have a fear I will turn up like her. Since I'm only 16 they say I'm young enough to fix it. My parents force me to eat less and work out much more and my sis is telling me to ignore them. The last two guys I was with were boxers/body builders and they would try to fix my weight. Ppl tell me I never look good and I've been gettting winter weight. Ive been wanting to throw up lately and starve myself but I'm too scared of having a disorder cause I don't want to go back on the road of disorders again. I just hate my outside appearance. I used to be confident but it dissapeared when ppl started inputting there opinions. At first it was easy to block them out but after a while I start believing it. Now I just sit in front of a mirror and pick apart every fault I have on my body and face. I hate this person I've become. Is this normal???
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You need to block out everyone else's opinions and think about what you want. If you are healthy, there's no reason to lose weight except for you to feel confidant and beautiful (and throwing up/starving is NOT the way to do it). You also need to make sure you're in a healthy mindset before you start to lose weight. Maybe you can do enough to maintain your current weight and during that time work on loving what's on the inside. There are people way more qualified to give advise and if you have the opportunity to talk to a professional, you should consider it. I hope I helped. (Also I have had stretch marks since I was twelve due to a rapid growth spurt, and a lot of women do, so there's no reason to feel bad about them)
ReplyTotally fricking normal I am going through the exact same problem. My mom once told me I looked pregnant lmao. You have to learn to love yourself for who you are no matter what everyone else is telling you what you have to be or who you need to be. It's hard I know trust me but if you say little affirmations to yourself and "fake" confidence you will eventually believe it yourself.
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