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i’ve been having a lot on my mind this past month. i don’t really have any friends or anyone to go to so i just came here to clear my mind. maybe i can get answers. Everything started october 26th 2018. before this date i had been being there for my boyfriend who is no longer my boyfriend who is still currently in jail. i love him so much 😔. i had been holding it down since May ever since he left. i broke up with him because he wrote his ex saying that he loved her and that he wanted to get back with her. i was so upset. when he called me i told him i wanted nothing to do with him and that i was single . it was a big fight. after we were done, i wrote him a letter saying that i don’t want to hear from him ever and that i don’t want him calling my phone or writing me. seems a bit over dramatic but when you’re being loyal to someone and spending your last dollar on the phones just to hear your lovers voice. saving money, putting time and your everything in it just to make it work, all for u to turn around and make me feel like shit with the letter. it was front and back, so u probably have an idea. anyways after i sent the letter i was low key waiting for him to call me to try and make things right. but he never did. days turns into weeks. keep in mind i don’t have any friends either. so when i broke up with him and he didn’t even try to talk it out or anything i felt like i had nobody. i was kinda depressed about it. feeling like everything was for nothing. i ended up texting some boy i met from facebook who i told i want nothing but a friend and not friends with benefits. i thought he was cool with it because he said he just wanted to be friends too. i’ve had a boy bestfriend before we never did or tried anything, so i was looking for the same thing in this boy. when i finally met him in person after weeks of texting , still no call from the boyfriend. i met him at his house since i was already close to it i told him we could chill. i guess u never really expect these things to happen. as we’re smoking and chilling it’s just the 2 of us. which i was cool with. but then shortly after 3 of his friends came and i was uncomfortable because i was the only girl. we all just kept smoking, smoking, and smoking. i got real tired and it was already getting super late. it was like 12 at midnight. when the guy who was supposed to be my friend noticed i was about to be knocked out on the couch in front of everyone he asked me if i wanted to go lay in his bed and sleep. i said yeah because i thought he was just gonna show me where his room was and leave. instead he followed me and stayed. i didn’t care as long as there was no touching. as i’m trying to go to sleep he was just talking to me u know still being and acting like a friend. but when i stopped and was trying to go to sleep he started touching me. i immediately told him to stop and i told him i don’t wanna have sex. 😔 he continued to touch my chest and legs and i continuously moved his hands and told him to stop. he even asked me if i wanted him to stop and i said yeah and he ignored that and started grinding on me. at this point i knew i wasn’t going to be taking a nap. i was starting to feel like i was being taken advantage of. i was scared a little not gonna lie. i didn’t know how to handle someone ignoring me telling them to stop. this never happened before. i tried to move but when i did he just got on top of me 😣 he pulled my underwear down and i pulled them back up. he pushed my arms down and pulled my underwear down again and just put it inside of me😣. i wanted to scream but i couldn’t. nobody was there with me and nobody was gonna help me. i remember just crying saying stop and get off of me but he didn’t care . i felt like a piece of me was being taken away and i couldn’t do anything about it no matter what i did. i cried and cried and still i cry. after he was done he left and i layed there crying in shock . i couldn’t move and i couldn’t stop thinking that this really happened to me. he came back and just got back on top of me again when i thought it was all over. i felt powerless, and like i just betrayed my boyfriend. i keep blaming myself like maybe i should’ve punched him or maybe i should’ve called the cops as soon as it happened. i wish i could go back to that day and wish i would’ve stayed in the house 😥😓i hate that i could even get myself in that type of situation. i told my boyfriend and he didn’t believe me, he laughed at me and called me a hoe 😣i know i’ve made mistakes but i’d never cheat on him or do that to him, especially while he’s in jail 😔. ever since that has happened i don’t feel the same about anything . i can’t cope healthy, i’m scared and i’m lost 😞please someone help me
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you need council and put those jerks in jail, that's the only way you can feel better about what happened to you, you did nothing wrong, keep that in mind.
Replyyou should get help with a professional counselor. You have some serious judgement issues. No time is it okay to meet a complete stranger at their house, especially if it's the first time meeting them in person, you ALWAYS meet in a public place. This was in no way you cheating on that guy in jail, you were no longer together, as you said you had cut it off with him. I understand you were hoping he'd come around, but he obviously said he wanted to be with someone else, so you should have realized that even if he did come back to you, you weren't his choice, just an option and you don't need a man like that in your life at all. He was only being toxic in your life and you deserve better. Yes, you should have fought, tried to leave, scream, call the police but you said you were in shock, and not everyone has the fight instinct in them. You however need to take this and learn from it. You need to learn that not everything can be resolved by the company of others, or drugs. They severely impaired what little judgement you had, which cost you something important. Live and learn from it. I am sorry you didn't have people in your life to help you differentiate between right and wrong, good and bad people scenarios, but now that you know, you can grow and be a better person. Ignorant people are not blissful people, they are stupid people who can end up in bad situations.
ReplyOMG what I hear is honestly just horrible... it’s so sad that people don’t understand the meaning of NO... please take care of yourself and please go and complain to the cops.. he needs a punishment.. big time..
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