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"I'm tired. I'm worn. My heart is heavy...."
Yesterday I had gone for a walk by myself to find a hanging tree to kill myself.
I found it.
It was the perfect tree, a memorable majestic giant heritage oak located serenely by itself in a large open meadow.
I stood under the canopy of the shade of the tree.
Time felt like it was running out for me.
My world was collapsing.
I had suffered years of sexual abuse. It was things most people would never imagine..
I took a large part of yesterday to clean my bedroom. I wanted to leave my past organized and orderly.
In my car later I was roaming the automobile radio dial searching for some song to hear. I wanted some songs to reflect upon my life's memories. I noticed my relative had somehow changed one of the preset channels on my FM car radio. It was programmed to a radio station I never listen to usually.
A song called "Worn," by Tenth Avenue North had just begun playing.
I listened to the starting words of the song.
" I'm tired. I'm worn. My heart is heavy...."
The song seemed to speak to me.
After the song ended I listened to the song several times on YouTube.
I sat in my car and cried.
Sometimes I feel like God talks to me through music.
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