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I started drinking alcohol at age five. My mother would give me little glasses of wine. She said just help myself to what I enjoyed. We had a winery only a few miles away from our home with the most incredibly savory wines. We would buy gallon bottles of the most delicious flavors. I grew up in a winemaking community so it wasn't that unusual for local children to drink.
My drinking became a personal problem. My parents, stepparent, and the adults who raised me were alcoholics.
By 4th grade when I was nine years old my alcoholism became a real problem. I was missing school due to oversleeping and hangovers. I just couldn't function like other children. I was drinking so much wine and liquor I was blacking out, often forgetting what I had even done while intoxicated the day before. Sometimes in my drunken rages and stupidity I did strange violent things that the next day I couldn't even remember doing.
I came to realize at nine years old I was an alcoholic, and my alcoholism was destroying me.
I stopped drinking alcohol one day cold turkey. It happened after seeing some very embarrassing things I had done.
In middle school, high school, and college and university I rarely drank alcohol. I just associated too many personal and family problems with drinking.
Last year one of my sisters had a boyfriend who died. He had a giant liquor collection. It's mostly brandy, whiskey, rum, vodka, etcetera. My sister gave all that liquor to me. I have held of drinking any of it for months.
One part of me says drink that liquor up. A lot of it is very expensive brands of spirits, great quality. Right now my mouth waters just writing about it.
I probably shouldn't drink alcohol drinks due to my earlier patterns but the liquors I received are too tasty and valuable to pour down a sink.
I keep wondering if I should just drink little amounts just for pleasure. It's tempting me every day. I've been really suicidal a lot. I wonder if drinking is better than being dead.
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Why don’t you try to find a hobby or a interest that can keep you distracted. Also maybe if their is a family gathering or a special day you could drink a little bit control your self.
ReplyDon’t drink it, you’ve already washed a lot of yourself at an early age. Alcohol is horrible for you and it’s killing more and more people everyday. Don’t drink it, get rid of it. And find a hobby that you enjoy that keeps your mind off of drinking in general. Find something better for you to drink.
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