My Unsent Letter

I live in a simple family. Parents are always fighting. At that time I was 11. Then my parents sent me to boarding school. I have been bullied mentally. they often mocking me, look for my fault even though I am innocent. Then my father died from an illness in 2015, the bullies still going on until I was 17. My inner voice often says that I should commit suicide and let the people regretting what they done to me. But my inner voice also said that I should wait but I do not know why should wait. Now I'm at a local college in year 3. At first, my situation is fine here but lately I have a fight with my friend. I admit was my fault and I apologized to her. But she made me look like I'm still the one in fault here. Then another of my best friend was left me out because she did not want to hear my problems again. She said that I was a loser and she said 'I do not give a f ***!'. It was yesterday she said that to me. I felt left out and nobody cares about me. They mocking me in socmed. 😭