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I have a question. Have any of you ever been abused? I know this could be offensive, but can you please tell me the story..?
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From the ages of 7 to 13, my father's best friend sexually abused me. He'd offer to babysit and touch me inappropriately, make me do bad things to him, etc. I had no clue that it wasn't okay because he always said it was a game. He praised me, and since my parents were pretty neglectful, I craved that praise. He pretended he loved me, he cared, that he wanted the best for me. And I believed him. I was too naive to realize that it wasn't okay or normal. I still feel guilty to this day.
ReplyHell yes. It was terrible. I'd be napping. I'd wake up with sometimes no clothes on. I realize now he must have drugged me. Maybe in my lunch food or drink? It's like I froze up. He'd usually just masturbate me until I orgasmed. I think his thrill was to see me aroused and my clit excited.
Another person would take me swimming. This was in high school. His family were nudists. The family just expected me to be nude too. It was lots of pressures. Who wants to look stupid wearing a bikini around only naked people? I was used to them with abuse and being forced to masturbate in front of others. Back in his family's house we shared a bedroom. I think his and my mom had to be mentally ill to have me at 16 and 17 sleeping undressed in a boy's bedroom. First it was massages, then him making me jack him off, then fingering me, then is going oral. I think that's common with abusers. They start out at small stuff like touched and licked my nipples and moved on to more abudive things.
It would take a book to tell it all. I still get bewildered about a girl who had us paddle a canoe one night naked yo the middle of a lake. Some abuse I still ask myself was it abuse or was I considered a willing partner? IDK. Be glad you weren't abused. It gives me nightmares. I have been a total psychological mess all day today.
ReplyYes, and no. Why does it have to be your concern?
ReplyHi, I wrote, but apparently it's too honest to talk about facts and feelings. My comment to you was deleted. I guess I am only supposed to share things like flowers and cats and rain clouds. Telling someone I was abused is apparently forbidden because it mentions sex. Sex isn't allowed to be shared or discussed. The fact I used to get punched in the face as a teen is perfectly fine to admit. But mention anything involving bare skin or reproductive glands and you are in trouble. No wonder I want to die so badly. I can't even talk about myself or what happened on a supposed mental health support website!
ReplyAges 5-to now, everything since my father died in a car accident on their anniversary, my mum has developed a drinking problem, and with drinking comes abuse. For years I would taking beatings for my siblings, even if they truly deserved it. And I have to hide cuts and bruises before I go to school, this has mentally hurt me to the point of cutting, and I have to hide it all with a smile. But even if she is crappy when she drinks, which is often, she's still a good mother.
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