What are you looking for?
5 months ago · · Anyone
Now that I look back at myself i'm not someone I knew, she ript that from me along with everything else I had. It's not easy waking up knowing you'll never see her smile again. Knowing that she won't be there to have fights with you or....laugh at my stupid jokes.... I find myself getting lost in the reality that she might come back one day, but no words would be enough to satisfy what's in my heart. Emotions often leave me wondering, am I truly human when the one person I have ever felt a connection with has left me, broken and alone. I hate feeling this week to mere chemicals in my brain. switching it off wouldn't help me anymore then dying would. I just wanted some more time to spend with her.....to live the lie of a happy relationship, keep telling myself everything will be okay.....but it's not. I shouldn't have to constantly distract myself from feeling my emotions just because it hurts. I'm alone now, and i'm getting used to it. The rain that used to wash my face of my worry's only fills me with regret. I think back to when I first met her, she wasn't my ideal woman but she made me grow a heart big enough to feel, just to crush it and leave. Existence is pain, and future promise of moving on doesn't excite me anymore. I still love you....