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Safe From Tomorrow
2 months ago · · Need Advice ASAP,
I have to go to a party tomorrow and there is no way I can avoid going. It’s for a family member so you can see that I can’t. It’s currently 12:33 am and I am restless. I want to go but I just can’t. Laying in my bed now I don’t ever want to leave. I want to stay in the now and even though it’s technically already Saturday it’s still seems like Friday and I don’t want to go into tomorrow. I am already trying so hard to do well at school and it’s getting better in my family but sometimes at night I can’t help but cry, whether it’s a little or a lot. I’ve tried so hard the whole day and when I get to bed I cry because I have to try again tomorrow. It’s so hard to have to get up in the morning and somewhat act as if everything is okay. The fact that I have the party tomorrow makes everything worst because I have to pretend as if I’m okay. I so desperately want to stay in bed and snuggle in my covers deep with warmth because I feel safe cooped up in my room. I’m afraid that somethibg will trigger me and I will spiral deeper into my depression than I already am. My mother wouldn’t get it, she’ll just tell me to stop and that I have to go because I haven’t seen that side of the family in a while. I just want to be left alone, safe and sound from what is to come tomorrow. I know it’s inevitable to escape time but I need more. I can’t sleep but I want to stay in bed longer
What should I do?