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Most of times when i hangout with someone i'm the one paying for things. 2 months ago we were saying good by to a friend, we decided to buy drinks i hate when people gives me money and wants me to split it and give change to everybody, we are adults we can just set common fund. i decided to invite the first 2 pitchers of beer. and basically and ended paying for everybody drinks that night. same happened when i was hanging out with my crush, but i can blame her because i offered to pay everything since the beginning, i'm my opinion who makes the invitation should be prepared to pay, that happened 3 times at least, i as without money the last week of the year so i couldn't invite her, tried again a week later but she is ignoring it or just saying "ok" without even asking when, like she accepts but no really into it (i realized she may be "dating" someone else) i feel used by her.
last week we had a BBQ i offered to by the meat, at the end i paid for everything it wasn't expensive, but, my dog is sick and i spent all this money on other people when my fridge is almost empty, while the guy where the BBQ was made now has his fridge full of the uncooked BBQ meat, i ate eggs the next day, i couldn't afford buy meat without being sure how much my dog treatment was going to cost.
i managed to pay it, paying part in cash and the other part could be paid using the small balance i had in my Credit card. i'm screwing my finances trying to impress people with a cash flow i don't have. the worst thing is that i don't know how to stop it. i feel used by my friends. advice are welcomed,
also, if you know a way to softly get over my crush without hurt her (she considers me her friend) please let me know, i archived our conversation, but to be honest, i'm willing to her talk to me ASAP.
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If it helps, buying things for people doesn't impress them. You're only hurting yourself by spending money on things that aren't necessary and the chances are they'll get used to it and start to expect it from you / take advantage of you.
About your crush, do you mean that you want to move on from her?
ReplyLook after your own needs first and that of your dogs. It is OK to pay your way with friends but always being the one who pays extra is not fair and is unnecessary. People will like you even if you don't pay for everything but people will also get used to you paying for everything if you continue to do so.
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