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I need I small bit of advice
5 years ago · 0
546
Pretending to be something you’re not is far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Though I guess I’ve been very convincing. Nobody has a clue of how I really feel and how who I really am. I go through most of my days numb — void of any feeling unless it comes to my friends. In fact, it’s come to the point I don’t really feel anything unless they’re around. You see I have schizoid personality disorder and Alexithymia so emotions are VERY difficult for me. As of recently I’ve found myself drawn to people who give me the slightest hint of feeling. A boy I will call “A’ is the newest addition to these people. I don’t quite know what he makes me feel but I get nervous and I feel so small around him. Not in a bad way I think. I think I like him but I just...I don’t know. I get nervous and shy and I feel hot, not turned on but just hot. I don’t see him everyday but when I do see him I guess I feel happy. I’m just scared, I’ve been in a relationship before where the guy made me feel the same way and was still iffy if I really liked him or not and I think it ruined our relationship. I know this is definitely not the place to be asking for mental help but I really want is to know if I actually like him or if I just get shy around him because is like twice my height and the student body vice president...
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