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I was in the middle of spreading cream cheese on my bagel when I felt the worthlessness seep in without me realizing it.
It was 11:47 p.m. I was hungry. I didn’t eat dinner, so I figured this late night snack would be fine.
But then I thought of my sister. She met a boy. No, I’m sorry, she met a man. A successful good looking 23-year-old man who thought she was cute at work and gave her his number. He is looking to be in a relationship, and has his own business.
My sister has been working at my job for a month. And someone noticed her beauty and acted on it.
I have been working there for over 4 years, and my pathetic self seems to only attract creeps, or old men. No one I want to notice me actually notices me.
I realized that I am nothing. I feel like no one is going to love me ever.
21 and alone. 21 and never have been in a real relationship. 21 and sad.
I already finished spreading cream cheese on one half of the bagel when I stopped. Stared at the butter knife. Looked at myself and felt ugly.
So I threw the bagel in the garbage and went to bed hungry.
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