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2 months ago · · abuse, · Explicit
Ever felt alone when you were in someone's bed? I'm here right now. He is sleeping, he drank too much and was unable to have sex with me. Smoked a cigarette, apologized and went to sleep. I'm not fine, although I lied. I'm not fine and I want to cry but I cried so much I ran out of tears. I preffer being depressed, than mad or sad. I preffer crawling to a dark corner rather than cry in front of other people. I'm depressed and I like it better than sharing my story. No one understands anyway. No one else was there. No one else felt the way I felt when I was abused. No one else knows what it's like to be useless, powerless and pathetic. "You can get over it" doesn't sound empowering anymore. It sounds like fiction. Sounds like "Twilight" and "Harry Potter". Sounds childish and pathetic.
Left this in case I never return again. Left this in case wondering what the heck happened. Left this in case someone says "She was happy, I don't know what happened". Left this so everyone knows that people sometimes preffer to hide these things. Sometimes it's not easy to share personal feeling. Left this so my mother can maybe sleep better.