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I Wish You Could Read This II
6 months ago · · Love, · Explicit
It's been hard recently trying to keep myself together. It has to be the time of the year, because I haven't been so susceptible to crying like this for awhile now. Valentine's Day would just be oh so much better with you by my side. I still want to send those flowers, but I know it wouldn't do anything besides have you smile for a moment. I wish I could send them anonymously, but we both know that you would find out who it was in a short matter of time.
I think that this sensitivity I'm going through will only repeat when March comes around. I can already see myself going back to that day and remembering how much in pain I was for that period of time. I saw you look at my dating profile, but I know it was only because I looked at yours first.
The astrology app that I told you about told me that today I should say yes. It didn't tell me what I should be saying yes to, but you know that I already daydreamed of a scenario in my head: You messaging me about how you've been feeling lately and telling me that you've been a little down. I'd tell you that I've also been feeling down lately, but that I hope for wellness soon. You know that we're upset about the same thing, but you ask me to confirm your theory. That's when I would do it, that's when I would say yes, we were. I hope one day you could tell me that you wish our situation was easier from the get-go, and that we wouldn't have to wait for the future to rekindle our flame, but that won't be happening for now, because you didn't even respond to my message where I asked how you had been feeling lately.
It all really started I think when I woke up from my nightmare that night, and I didn't tell you everything that had happened in that ill-influenced dream. I told you about the cockroach scene, but I didn't tell you the part that really made me sad. The part that's making me tear up as I write this. I saw you in that dream, and you were sick. I don't know from what, because you stood silent as I tried to ask. It was when I woke up that I realized I had felt raw sadness from within a dream, something that I had never remembered occurring once, let alone another emotion.
I should be getting ready for bed now. I have a slightly new routine that I've been executing every night. I hope that I feel better soon, and I hope you can make me smile tomorrow during that stressful day of moving. Goodnight _____. Sleep tight and don't let the ________ bite. Speak to you soon.