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6 months ago · · Advice
I was too young to even consider marriage when I said "I do" to my husband. I love him dearly, however, I keep fantasizing about what could have been if I would have just waited. He supports me in college, and I am so grateful. I want a job, and I want to work my ass off doing it. He has told me from day one to just let him take care of me, and it drives me insane. As I type this, I feel more and more selfish. I need more.
When I was younger, my grandma pleaded with me not to get married young or at all. I would look around the broken little home in which we resided, and I promised her I wouldn't. She told me that I would not get much farther than the broken boards under my feet if I did. She encouraged me not to be stupid.
I stood in the courthouse and I thought it was a good sign that the only person that could marry us was only going to be there for one more day. We seemed to have come at the right time and everything fell into place. I was nineteen. I could hear my grandmother in my ear as I said: "I do." Here I was the first person to graduate high school and go to college in my family. I made straight A's, I saved my money, and I saved myself for marriage. I wanted to be stupid, and I felt as if though I earned it. I honestly don't know of a marriage to reference that has lasted. I am not sure what to do.