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I keep everything to myself, whether it be my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, my explanations, or my suggestions. I don't tell people things. At least, not anything that matters. All the time all I do is joke around with my friends, we make really stupid jokes about dark subjects and we all laugh it off. It's how we work. But those laughs are just a way to hide everything. If it weren't for the jokes, people would see how broken I am. But I can't show them that, I have to remain strong. When I do crack when people are around I hate myself because it means I wasn't strong enough. If I'm not strong, how am I gonna get through everything? I need to be stronger, I need to deal with it better, I need to laugh more, joke more. Maybe that way, I wouldn't break more.
I'm sorry if that seemed confusing, it seems confusing to me too.
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You need to find someone to trust and tell them what's inside you. Someone who won't judge you. I promise you'll feel better. Just try talking to someone. One friend or someone online or whatever. That's upto you. But you need to let it out. Just talk. Dont keep everything inside. It's too hard. Trust me:)
Love.
ReplyI read something once and I don't remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of this: We are all riddled with cracks. And that's okay. That is how the light shines through.
We are only human. We ARE strong. But we're not invincible. Laughing and joking are great coping mechanisms, but we should still meet our problems head on.
You got this. ❤
ReplyI totally get it. You think you should be strong enough to handle your own issues so you don't want anyone you care about to have to share in your problems. To be honest, that's why I chose the name stonemask. I have to be strong and not show that I'm really weak on the inside. Just wanted to know you aren't alone.
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