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So... I came to the conclusion that I might be dealing with a potentially vindictive narcissist or sociopath.
I might have an idea who it is. I'm trying to recall certain behaviors from every single guy that I have encountered in my life thus far.
Who might hold something against me etc..
What can be done about it?
I'm not letting a beyond deranged person or people get the best of me and ruin me.
Ruined my life thus far.
I have some ideas but they're illegal and I'm not someone who's going to jail because of a psycho.
If you're a professional.
Please help.
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ReplyIf someone else is harassing you, collect the evidence and present it to the police. Don't waste time worrying, scheming, looking for free professional advice on the internet. Fix the problem and move on.
ReplyI've worked as a licensed and credentialed schoolteacher for individuals and learners experiencing all sorts of emotional trauma. I've worked also in a state prison system as a superintendent helping to rehabilitate and support numerous convicted criminal offenders, including murderers and serial predators and rapists. Now I work as a supervisor for one of the largest law enforcement agencies in the United States of America.
I can tell you I have involved myself with many narcissistic and emotionally unhealthy individuals, including even many just yesterday at my job. I had one man yesterday who was so strung out he literally didn't even know where he was at the moment. Others I met yesterday were totally delusional and schizophrenic.
There is in my experience no level of training that prepares someone for everything we experience in life. We sometimes have to rely upon our instincts, our values, our internal guiding light and personal discoveries to internally direct us what to do.
Naturally it's impossible to control everything. I had a mentally unbalanced man two days ago I caught littering. Is it my better purpose to focus upon some trash he dropped, and get a fellow law enforcement officer to write him a ticket (which in all reality the offender has no money to ever pay or even understand), or get this man some other alternative outcomes? (The man didn't even have shoelaces in his shoes!)
I chose not to fine the man because in life it's about knowing what battles to fight. Dealing with emotionally unhealthy people has been my life. I don't think most of us as young people are taught the tools to surviving and actually thriving around unhealthy, dangerous, and difficult social conditions and people. Homes and personal conditions for some individuals can be worse than war zones, or even living on the streets.
I professionally feel it is paramount anyone live a life free of fear and control by unrighteous others. If someone is hurting you or anyone it's vital the right people get involved. It can be a teacher, government social worker, child or adult protective services, a medical professional, a counselor, or even law enforcement. It takes having the self will to stand up for one's values. It does sometimes require being brave, even stepping outside the norms, or doing it differently from what others do.
I think it's typical to sometimes feel afraid. Fear is often looked upon by some as a bad thing. In truth, I think feeling fear is very good. It tells us we realize we want to change the circumstances we are in, even change ourselves. Fear can be a very powerful resource in self-change. Fear can help free us of our past or what we are facing.
Sadly there re many toxic, dysfunctional, even dangerous people in this world. Fortunately there are also many positive, wonderful, supportive, understanding people in this world too. It's important for anyone to wisely choose who to associate, mentor, and even accept as friends in our lives. Tragically many of us were taught as children to accept and help everyone. Yes. Kindness and charity is a great thing, but not when it involves greedy, selfish, even unkind and controlling manipulators. It doesn't work with narcissistic people to sacrifice one's love to an uncaring self-deluded narcissistic individual who for whatever reason can't even identify their own shortcomings, or take an appropriate level of personal and social responsibility. It takes all of us individually realizing we can't just sit back and let our lives be totally controlled by someone else. It takes us realizing our own shortcomings and faults too.
In all, emotional and personal wellness is a journey, not a destination. It is a daily agenda of demonstrating our own sense of self identity and life purpose. It is really about demonstrating maturity and responsibility, showing accountability and still having sensitivity.
I think taking classes, reading books, even listening to YouTube presentations, internet websites, or even Ted Talks on psychology, sociology, even history and literature, even the humanities and philosophy, can open so any doors for people struggling in life.
It's reaching out.
It's actually sometimes saying I need some coaching or help.
It's finding support, be it with family, friends, religion, schoolmates, clubs, support groups, trained professionals, or whoever it is who even somewhat understands and can offer experience, strength, and hope.
It's knowing you are not alone in your circumstance, that you have choices and options, perhaps some you never even realized. It's helping anyone facing a problem or crises know there are various options and possible outcomes, that hopefully we choose a choice that is a possible solution and not an ongoing perpetuation of the problem. It's knowing we don't have to always fight our battles in life alone.
Dealing with difficult people is not always easy, at least in my professional experience. That's because some people spend their lives trying to figure out how to destroy, control, and manipulate others. Most of us naturally don't play such destructive and ultimately self-defeating daily undertakings. We eat, sleep, laugh, love, work, play, and enjoy and experience many things. People with mental illnesses often lock their minds on only certain things. They get stuck in their ruts of thinking. They assume they are sometimes even experts at what they may really personally not even understand. I had, for example, a man yesterday who wanted to blame every problem in the United States on a former U.S. president.
Is that rational? Is that reasonable to blame one person for everything wrong in the world?
I think most of us realize the world and people are more diverse and complex to assume one living man is the fault and pain of all the earth's ills.
In summary (and sorry I wrote so much!), I hope you can know the first step is taking our own steps to freedom, opportunity, richness in life, and even our happiness. It takes us choosing to live in a way we can feel good about ourselves and knowing what we are doing has meaning and purpose, that we are seeking to grow, explore, and find our own feeedoms to do what we consider important in this world and with our lives. It's being able to live with our consequences.
I hope you always seek positive solutions. Destructive measures might feel temporarily appealing and sound perhaps even logical in the spur of the difficult moment. But as a big wall sign I used to have on a classroom wall said: Have you used your brain today?
I hope you think things through before doing permanent harmful changes to yourself or others. I trust you can do what is right! I've seen it happen with literally thousands of people in my own life so far!
ReplyInsightful, appreciate the feedback.
Reply