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For one whole year and two months, my relationship has been going on a roller coaster and it never stops. Our first month of dating last year was all fun and happiness and we were going up and up and never stopping. After, everything kind of started going downhill. Jealousy arose and we started getting into multiple fights. Then lying began and more stupid mistakes. We were always able to fix it but we continued to fight non stop for months and months. We would solve our issues and go back and solve and it became a cycle. Until last year around October when I said enough is enough and ended everything. We were in a toxic relationship and it felt it was never going to end. The best solution was to break up and we did. We broke up for 3 months. I never talked to him and when he did, I would tell him to stop because I would never go back to that kind of relationship. 3 months passed and it seemed like we were both still in love with each other. He would care for me and ask about me, he would cry non-stop, and he would text me non-stop begging for me back. I was hurt also but I was strong to say no and understand it was unhealthy being together. As the New Year came, we were kind of back to talking more than usual and texting each other here and there, and for some reason I wanted him back. I missed him and I loved him still and it seemed like it was impossible to find someone else and someone who loves me and cares about me as much as he did. Then as New year came, we planned we would get back together and try again. We promised to communicate better, be honest with each other, and change some of our habits. Now here I am heartbroken and disappointed again. We tried and we tried so hard and here I am not knowing what to do. We keep fucking up and it just isn't working out. Is this it? Is this over? Should this end now or should we keep trying?
I have lost faith in God because I thought he would lead me into the right decision but he is leading me no where. Literally I thought the break up was his sign for me to find someone else, but we still got back together. Now we're back to where we were before and I have no idea what to do and God seems to not exist and he doesn't try and help me. I need help.
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seems like how much ever you both try, you don't have a mutual understanding of each other. so it's better to call it off. okay yes, you both love each other af but, love isn't the only thing that is going to keep a relationship alive. love, trust, honesty, mutual understanding, effective communication, respect all together are going to keep the relationship alive, not only one thing.
ReplyOh god, I kind of went through the same thing. If there’s anything I learned... well, there was a reason as to why you broke up the first time. That reason doesn’t just go away. If you followed your gut the first time to make that choice, then it was probably for the best. Love isn’t everything. You can love someone deeply and still leave them. You can love someone with your whole heart and still break them. Love doesn’t mean that they’ll stay.
Think about yourself. Think of your mental health. I know that you already know what the right answer to your question is, but that you don’t want to face it yet because of the pain that will ensue. But trust me, it feels like you won’t ever find someone better, but you will. And you’ll be much happier then.
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