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I live in constant fear that something is wrong with my children. My oldest is 7 and her first phrase was, "Mommy, I'm fine." Tonight, she came ro me with rashes on both her arms - probably nothing more than a minor reaction to something - but I assure I will be awake all night long checking on her and googling. I am so tired of being scared and worrying constantly. So very tired ... I finally caved and spoke to my doctor. She agrees that I need something to help and prescribed Sertraline daily. It's only my second day and it can take a couple weeks to work, so as usual, I am freaking out. I repeat to myself, "my kids are strong - my kids are healthy." After about the hundreth time, with some slow breathing, I can usually calm down - but it takes that many times for me NOT to say "but an allergic reaction can kill anyone in no time flat." My doctor also gave me something to take for nights like this, something fast acting to help me sleep, but all I can think about is IF something happened... IF they needed me and I didn't wake up, I could never be the same. I could never live with the guilt. I can barely handle the thought of having that guilt without scolding myself for not doing more right this second to prevent it. But what should I do? She seems fine. I out some hydrocortisone cream on and put her to bed. It's been there for hours with almost no change.
I want to be the mom that "knows" when they are fine and when something is "really wrong, " but since I don't already know if that mom is in there, I feel like this mom will play it safe.
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What do you mean that mom?
ReplyYou can always learn more. Learn more about what is normal and abnormal in kids. Both in behavior and physical health, that could appease a bit of your concern. And it will take more of your time off thinking about your fears
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