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Lately I don't know what's been going on with me. I've been starting to grow distant from my parents and they think somethings wrong with me but I can't seem to tell them that I don't know what's going on, I'm just not as energetic or I guess happy as I used to be. Everything is going great but I just don't feel like it is. I feel like something's off but I don't know what. Everything starts to annoy me now and I feel like I'm just waiting for something to happen to snap me back to how it was before I don't even know what happened. I don't even know when I started to feel like this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be happy because there's nothing really wrong in my life right now and I think it's just me. But I can't really express just how feel because I don't even know how I feel. I know I'm definitely not feeling happy but I don't think I'm feeling sad. I just don't know what's going on anymore. I try and make myself feel good and laugh at jokes and talk normally but sometimes I just want to be alone or I want to be there but not talk. I don't want people to question why I'm not smiling or laughing. I want to know what's going on with me but I don't know who to tell. I don't know who to tell that I'm not myself right now. I've never talked about how I felt with anyone and when I do it comes out as a joke and nothing more. Sometimes my eyes just start to form tears or sometimes I just want to sleep. I want to be by myself and wait for whatever it is to come back to me and make me feel like I used to. But I just can't because I don't know if there's enough time for that. I want to go back to how I used to be but I don't know how.
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You and I are in the same boat.
Honesty, they only thing that has kind of helped me is walking. I don’t know where you live, but I went and found a small park by my place. When I’m really struggling I go for a walk. I try to keep my head up and admire even the smallest details. I just try to pause my life, I guess. I try to find a moment to breath. Work on myself. Idk. I hope my words help. That knowing you aren’t alone helps. I felt everything you wrote and it even helped me to know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
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