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I used to literally get on my knees and pray for a friend. A real friend. And then I got one, or so I thought. It all fell apart after a few weeks. I used to see them with their other friends and felt deep inside my heart that I would never be enough so I sabotaged it. Anyway, we made up a few months later. I was happy. We’d send messages to each other very frequently, but now it seems things are different. First it was every other day, then once a week, then once every few weeks and now a month has passed. I don’t know what the fuck to do. I don’t know if their dumping me or just don’t care as much anymore. They say they wish me well but disappear for weeks on end. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m such an unbelievable fuck up. I just feel like shooting myself in the head. Fuck it. People only like you when your dead.
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I've been through, and Is going through the same thing.
I'm used to people leaving so much, that each time I met someone new, and started to get close, I'd mentally prepare myself for their absence, and I hated myself for it.
But if you just wait a little more, the right people will stay. That thing with us people who get left, we get to read people easier, don't hold on to people who are trying to let go, in the end you'll see that it was their loss, and you matured in some way,
What I'm really trying to say, is don't force people to stay, because you'll just hurt yourself more. Don't chase them, let them chase you. The right people will stay, and it'll be their loss of they don't.
I hope this helped
ReplySome times it takes time to find the right friends. I have many good friends. 2 fantastic friends! But deep down, I know that they are not my clan, not my people. I have yet to find them. You have yet to find them. But when you find them, you will know. You will know and be happy. You just have to hold on until you get that feeling. The feeling that will tell you that you are were you are meant to be.
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