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4 months ago · · Anxiety,
I feel bad because I'm focused on my studies instead of looking for a job... I feel that if I get a job it will intervene in my studies. I had so much in my mind that I don't think I can maintain a job right now. I'm treating a social phobia and I'm doing baby steps here... how can I explain that to my parents to understand it? To understand that it is really hard for me to go and look for a job, it's not like it used to, because now certain situations cause symptoms of the anxiety disorder. So I feel like I disappoint my parents for that... it makes even harder to overcome anxiety, to feel that pressure when they ask me about getting a job, and I have to lie sometimes, which I don't like either, but I do it for my peace of mind... I hate this anxiety disorder, it became from many traumatic situations I lived from young adulhood and childhood as well. But I'm medicated and I'm trying my best, the best I can from my actual way of being =/
She feels bad because she is focused on studies instead of finding a job. She thinks that a job will intervene in her perfomance in studies. She thinks in so many things righ now that she believes she can't handle a job right now. She thinks she can't tell her parents about her difficulties of dealing with the anxiety disorder, so she thinks she disappoint her parents, which of course, worsen the anxiety disorder. Because she thinks she can't tell her parents the truth, she lies and feel guilty about it. She still feel unfair all the situations she passed through when she was a child and a young adult, she blames herself too because she couldn't face those traumatic situations better, so she wouldn't cause the anxiety disorder. Still, she's really trying to overcome all of this.