What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I am a beautiful girl with a heart full of love and a good head on my shoulders. That being said, I’m definitely never the smartest or the prettiest girl in the room, I seldom reach above average status but that’s okay. I deserve to be loved, valued and respected and I’m patiently waiting on a boy who will finally see that. If I never come across that boy, then it’s okay. Just because someone can’t see my value, it does not mean that I am not valuable and that I deserve any less than anyone else.
But I’m not gonna lie, when all your friends are incredibly beautiful and intelligent it makes it really hard to believe that I deserve all that. When boys literally swarm around my friends to get their attention for just a few seconds, all the while pushing past me just to do so, it kinda sucks. It makes it more difficult to believe I’m deserving when I’m talking to a guy, even just a friend, and then they take one look at one of my friends and forget that I’m there. I’m not hideous, not plain, just super average. I’m not jealous of my friends, I love them dearly and I’m aware that the male attention they receive is not intentional, it’s not their fault that they’re exceptional and they shouldn’t be blamed for it.
However lately I’ve grown really fond of a boy, we’ve been friends for years, occasionally hook up but it never meant anything. About two months ago he confessed his love for me, I was very taken back at first but couldn’t think of a reason to not be with him and to not like him back. We’ve always gotten on very well, we’re very close and he’s incredibly attractive. He’s the type of guy that girls throw themselves at, including my exceptionally beautiful and intellectual friends. So you can imagine my surprise when he confessed feelings for me. I obviously ignored it. I figured it was some ploy to get into my pants, which it most likely was but it worked. I avoided him for a long time after that, I was ashamed that I had fallen for a few sweet lies and couldn’t bear to face him. However just recently on Valentine’s Day, he reached out to make plans with me and I accepted. As silly as this sounds, I didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day and I couldn’t understand why he was. I also knew it was a tough day for him being his only serious ex girlfriend’s birthday, who he’s been heartbroken over for years.
Oh boy did I catch feelings very hard after that! He’ll never date me, we’ll never be in a relationship and that’s okay. It’s the reality of the situation. I haven’t told him how I feel, it would be a waste of breath. I don’t even have the guts to even tell my friends that I really like him because nothing will ever come of it, and they’ll just push me to make something of it. But one of my friends has recently taken a fancy to him, she’s the most exceptional of all of my amazing friends. It sucks to listen to her talk about him, to see the messages he sends her but it would only be cruel for me to tell either of them my about my feelings because I would be denying them the chance to have a real relationship. They could be very happy together, especially since they both really deserve to be happy and loved, but I might ruin all of that just because of crush. How selfish and despicable that would be of me, yet it’s all I can think about. I’ll never do it but I wonder why I have to hurt so much and so often. Where’s the justice?
I know there will be someone else, at some other point in my life, but all this really sucks. It’s incredibly ego bruising and makes it really hard to believe that I deserve to be valued, loved and respected. It’s hard to keep a positive attitude but I know that no one will value me if I do not value myself. At the end of the day all that matters is self love, self respect and self value
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
You will never know...
You will never know how much I love you You'll never know how many years that I've waited for you You'll never know how much it hurts You'll never know how m...
-
A little bit of me that's gone
Have you ever loved someone so much, with your entire body and mind; every fibre and thought that weaves you together into the shape of the person you are? H...
any guy would be crazy to pass you by and not want to be with you. You deserve a genuine guy to treat you right and from the way it sounds if any had any sense seeing you for you youd be taken already. Be patient and hang in there.
Reply