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I am fighting myself to not pickup my phone and text my ex. It has been a month since we last talked, and that was when I tried (almost begged) to get back together with him, and when he said he can't I told him I couldn't be friends with him anymore because it is seriously hurting my mental health to be friends with an ex that I'm not over yet.
The funny thing is that I'm the one that broke up with him.
Now he has blocked me on everything (except maybe whatsapp) I think to help me get over him, because we did say that when I get over him we can go back to being friends.
The only thing that gets me to stop thinking about him is drinking, and that is giving me some serious drinking problem.
I don't know how to help myself anymore, but I feel like I'm getting weaker at this "not texting him" game, what can I do?
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Set boundaries for yourself.
My rule that I have always applied to myself is that an ex remains an ex regardless of how the relationship ended. I cut all communication,block, delete and move on. My belief is that the only acception of being "friends" with an ex is under reasonable circumstances where children are involved and that's it. Naturally, I'm stubborn which is why it may be easier for me to move on from ex boyfriends. In your case, I would suggest surrounding yourself with friends and keeping yourself preoccupied with work or any other activities you have an interest in.
I can understand it can be difficult with feeling the effects of missing someone familiar and had a history with. At times, the attachment and letting go can be heartbreaking but give it time. It's not worth drowning your heartbreak in alcohol to forget and it's an unhealthy way of coping with it. He shouldn't have the benefit of how it's destroying you and use you either. Everything happens for a reason whether it's fair or not, but it might be a sign that it's not meant to be and that is where you need to accept it. Harsh as it is, he clearly made it known to you that he doesn't want to get back together and hasn't thought twice about it.
Another reason to move on is you're likely to find someone else. Being friends with an ex can be uncomfortable for someone new in your life and it can create a conflict in your new romantic interest. Of you think about, it takes guts to break up with someone and stand by it. I have no doubt that you'll be just fine, but don't cope with it by drinking because your health and mental well-being is important.
The pain is still fresh but this shall pass too with time. Love yourself, reach out to those who are trustworthy, supportive and that genuinely care about you.
You'll feel better soon.
ReplyIf you broke up with him he is probably feeling it as well. Depending on how and why you dissolved the relationship it may not be recoverable even as friends, remember this is a cliché (she broke up with me and now wants to be friends). If you must test be sure to explain WHY you broke up, take whatever blame is yours and perhaps you can start building trust again.
ReplyI've drank for years after my ex broke up with me, funny thing is I broke up with her so many times, yet she cheated and stuck the period at the end. Please limit your drinking, if you have to have a drink than limit. I have to. Don't message them. I messaged my ex so much, even after they were married, it hurt me deeply. They might give in one time, admit to their inner love, and it'll fuel you for weeks, in a hurtfully painful way. It's over, and if it wasn't there would be a sign. Love them forever, and let them go. It is so hard to truelove stop messaging, but blocking them on the platforms where YOU can message them is important. You might think about them daily, but give yourself the time to heal. You cannot heal if you're putting yourself in pain. Forgive yourself for whatever you may think went wrong, remember how to be better from it, and let your pain be an inspiration to help others, better yourself, and make something. Art, music, ANYKIND of craft can work the soul, massage the essence of your love. Give yourself time, step away from him, and keep yourself from making the same mistakes. I believe in you, anyone else would say the same.
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