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2 months ago · · Stress,
It’s half past midnight. It is officially my 21st birthday.
I’ve never enjoyed celebrating my birthday. Ive always felt like this is the time of year where I really don’t seem to have that many people in my life, and the few that are around seem to over compensate because it’s very evident that I’m incredibly alone in my loneliness. It doesn’t make me feel better because being alone is one thing, having people feel sorry for you because you are so alone is a completely different thing.
This year is a particularly more lonely one than previous years. Normally when you turn 21 it’s customary for you to celebrate with friends and family. I don’t really have much of either, but the few that I do have expect me to celebrate.
I don’t want to celebrate because I doubt that they will even come. Which is exactly what’s happened every year prior to this one. Idealy I’d like to never celebrate my birthday. It’s a little embarrassing when nobody wants to come to your party.
On another note, this marks another year past where I’ve done nothing with my life and I am no closer to making a life of my own, then I was when I was 12.
I wish I could just hit pause.