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5 months ago · · Stress,
I've always been a very outgoing person when i was in elementary school and early part of middle school until my family members and friends told me that i am suffering from hair loss issue. It affected me tremendously i felt that the confidence level or self esteem i had when i was a child/ teenager just shattered into pieces. At first when my friends told me that 'hey, your hair is thinning at the crown area' i was skeptical about it because they liked to joke around, so i didn't take it to heart. Then after a few months i start to realized the thinning started to get more visible so i decided to make an appointment with a dermatologist even the specialist was in doubt about why at such a young age of 16 my hair is thinning then my sister told the doctor that my father is suffering from male pattern baldness BUT at the age of 50. The doctor didn't even give it a proper check and deemed my hair loss was due to genetics like wtf ?? After 2 years, now i am in college where people are being so judgmental about appearance, looks and all sorts of stuff really affects my confidence level. I seldom voice out in school and dare not to sit in front at the first row in lecture hall as i am afraid that i might be a laughing stock to the 'cooler kids'. Although my friends in college/ middle school doesn't mention about it but i feel that they knew what's going on and don't want to hurt my feelings about it, for that i really appreciate it. I've thought of going all out just shave off all my hair so that it wouldn't stress me out so much but i just don't have the courage to do that like i am still so young becoming bald is definitely not my ideal hairstyle. However, i keep telling myself that you have to love yourself and embrace all the flaws you have, but i just can't help thinking hair loss is affecting my life, my self-esteem, my confidence level, my insecurities. Whenever i look at people of my age with full head hair i always thought to myself, WHEN WILL I BE BACK TO 'NORMAL' again i just want my old self back where i am outgoing, always optimistic about things.
For those who took time and read this I really appreciate it and thank you for your time. Its the very first time i am willing to open up to my insecurities that i am facing however, i still do not have the courage to let people know who i am hence being anonymous and bawling out my feelings.