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Unfortunately, you still find your way into my thoughts every day. In the most inconvenient times, I remember your smile, your laugh, the feeling of your arms around me, your warmth. I hate myself for this, because I know fully well that you broke my heart in the worst ways and took advantage of the faith I had in you. I thought you were better than that. You slept with another girl for five months of our relationship; you were engaged to her for three of those months. Yet you try to make yourself out as the victim of this situation?
I had never felt so helpless, so angry and betrayed. You left with little to no explanation, and moved on quickly to another unsuspecting girl. I want with all my heart to warn her -- I see her so happy with you and I want her to run away, avoid the heartbreak. Or maybe she's finally the one for you; the one you won't turn on and belittle and reduce to a crying mess. Either way, I hope she knows your character. Whether she tries to fix you or makes the smarter move, it's out of my hands.
Despite all the suffering you put me through, I miss you. Or rather the moments we had -- not you truly, because you were a cowardly asshole by nature. There were times when you made me feel cherished, but now when I remember them, all I can perceive is a sour taste in my mouth and a bitter sensation in my heart. I want to find a way to truly move on, but I can't. It's been months and I still can't stop going through scenarios and choices I could have handled differently that would result in you still being in my life. But the smarter side of me knows it was not my fault. This was all you. Your fickle, indecisive mind made you cruel and pathetic. You may have gone to the marines, but one good decision will never erase the countless misdeeds you've left in your wake.
I know you will never feel the pain I have, but I hope you at least feel sorry somewhere in your pathetic soul. I hope that the universe eventually pays you back for the disservices you've done to me and countless other women.
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