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Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I’m writing this bullshit but anyway here it goes,
Two days ago, I meet the most incredible ever in my life, it’s strange I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight but from just being around her and talking to her I found myself taking a liking to her more and more. Whilst she was with me for the first time in my life I felt relaxed, I felt safe, I felt peace like nothing iv ever felt before. All my worries faded whilst I was with her, she made me feel some type of way that I have never felt before, then when she left I was gutted because I knew deep down that we won’t be seeing each other again and that’s what hurts the most…
She left but we spoke as doe we would be seeing each other again but it wasn’t going to be the case, what’s worse is I think we both felt that this was going to be the end of something good, something special. Our time together was one of the best nights I have ever had in my entire life. Out of all the girls I have been with or slept with none can compare to her, non-can compare to the way she made me feel whilst I was around her, it’s like I had this desire this need to be around her.
When she left, I felt this emptiness but happy feeling inside. Empty because she just left, and I knew that was the end of that but a slight sense of happiness because I haven’t felt that way ever. She was special, I couldn’t stop thinking about her, thinking about her being with me, us doing fun activities together etc. but as they say all good things have to come to an end. Naturally I attempted communicating my feelings over social media (which I’m terrible at) but I thought it would be worth the shot! It would be better for me to do it instead of me thinking about all these possible what if scenarios. Unfortunately, my feelings weren’t reciprocated the same way, I have never told someone how I felt before in my life so that was a big bummer for me to hear so that’s what brings me to writing how this all went down and how I’m feeling.
I don’t know how but some way somehow, I am going to have to move on otherwise I’ll be living in a nightmare that I can’t get out of her, a cycle of constantly thinking about her knowing that there is nothing I can do to have her! That this woman that I want who is ¾ hours away by drive I can’t do anything about even doe I’m willing to drive there every weekend to spend time with her.
If there is anything iv learnt from this experience is that never fall for someone so easily, if it’s too easy then it’s not going to work out the way you want.
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