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I guess I'm here because I can't talk to anyone about how i'm feeling.
I'm a gal, I'm 19 and a second year uni student living with five of my friends in a flat. At the beginning of the academic year I began to develop feelings for one if my flat mates as we became very close and I believed he may feel the same way. He was in a bad relationship at the time and stressed to me that he wanted to end things with the girl he was seeing so I decided to be honest with him and tell him how I felt. He was glad I'd told him and said he felt the same way but he was in a difficult situation and needed time and I understood that. I was okay with this and I remember feeling proud of myself for even being able to be honest with him.
Several months down the line and a lot has gone on. He would flip flop between me and this other girl. He has serious commitment issues so he wouldn't commit to this girl but also wouldn't leave her. He'd get incredibly angry with me anytime that I tried to talk to one of our friends about how I was feeling and we had many arguments. On the other hand things between us were really nice at times and he would flirt with me and spend all his free time with me. I was constantly confused.
Finally in January he left this girl and we became even closer. We began even more time together and I felt like i could feel how I felt freely without feeling bad. We started play fighting which lead to napping together which lead to sleeping together. I was a virgin at the time and I really let myself get carried away. I had fallen in love, I am still.
Then he started to freak out because he wasn't ready for another relationship. He wouldn't hug me as much, we stopped sleeping together, he wouldn't do al the affectionate things he was doing before and I got really upset. I stupidly ended up telling a friend about how I felt and it got back to him. We had a huge argument.
A few weeks later we're friends and we're even living in the same block of studios next year but I'm so lost. I feel like I broke up with somebody but didn't even have the relationship, it really meant something to me. We have a real connection but I feel like its being severed. I know he really cares about me but we're so different from how we used to be. I care about him so much and I just wanted things to work out but I really feel like its too late this time. I feel so dumb and dramatic but I really felt like he was the person I'd be with for a long time.
I can't escape because I live with him. I can't talk to anyone because he'll find out and i'm sure he's sick of talking to me about this by now.
I just need to get away so we have some time away from each other. Maybe we'd feel close again if missed each other.
I'm even supposed to be hanging out with him tonight just us ahahah kill me
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Sounfa like he is actually scared of being in a relationship but has great feelings for you. Or thinks he needs to make sure not to get to close to avoid getting hurt, but has great feelings for you. Just relax make sure not to put so much pressure on it. It is important that both of you feel comfortable. Try to get him to open up more. Maybe he is stressed that you are expressing your issues and he does not want to share his, which is like talking to a wall that gets mad that he can't speak even though it makes it worse. Btw I am only 15. I would love to hear more. But only if you want to.
ReplyI get what you mean, how it feels to feel like you’ve gone through a break up with someone when. But it will be alright. Take all the time you can away from him. Let yourself heal first
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