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It's been 5 years now and I still refuse to tell anyone about my pain. I've tried to in the past and it seemed like no one got it. They didn't even give me advice. They just told me "It will go away after a while." I don't know why that moment hurt me but I haven't told anyone about my pain since. I haven't even given any indication that I am in any sort of pain. I'm always scared about being judged or people just not getting it. But recently the pain in my heart has gotten so much worse. It almost feels like my heart is being torn out of my chest. Some of the pain has resulted in me inflicting pain on my self. It got worse after my privacy was violated by someone who I thought was close to me and someone who should have been there for me. I need advice on how to talk about this. I have people in my life I can go to but I'm just so scared to. I have all of these "What if's" running through my mind. (Example: What if they don't believe me?)
I'm scared to tell them about the things that people have done to me. I'm scared to tell them about my pain. I'm scared to tell them about the people I've seen die and the thing's that people have done to me.
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What people died?
ReplyWhat people?
ReplyTalk to them, the people close to you.
I know that's so, SO much easier said than done. I've been on both ends of pain. I've been in pain. I've had friends in pain. It's never easy, and talking to your loved ones about it can be terrifying and feel impossible. It is so beyond difficult. Especially if we think they won't understand.
But I've also been the loved one.
A while back, my friend came out to me about some stuff in their past - including rape, emotional and physical abuse from their ex (who I knew when they were together), and even a teen pregnancy they were never allowed to keep.
I knew them through most of it and had no idea. And that not-knowing? Worst feeling of my life. I should've called the police on their psycho ex, not tried to be friendly and tolerate my dislike of him. I should have walked with her to and from work. I should have noticed, said something, I could have spared her from some of the pain.
But I couldn't have. No matter how much I beat myself up about it, all the time, there was nothing I could have done. Because they never told me. So I didn't know.
Depending on the pain, it can be a hard conversation. "Hard" doesn't even begin to describe it. But I wish I'd had that hard conversation. I wish it every day. The people you're close to in your life want to know about the bad times as well as the good. They want to be there to support you. If they don't, they don't deserve to be close to you. People who brush away your struggles aren't real friends. If they do, you could try explaining why that's not helpful - and if they don't get it, find someone who does.
I know it's hard. But I also know that you are strong enough to do it. I believe in you.
ReplyYou are so right, being vulnerable with someone about your pain is beyond difficult. Maybe writing about it first would help you open in to someone when you are ready? There will always be someone that believes you!
Replysure enough people will understand. someway, somehow
ReplyYou know, sometimes family members can't help and in fact worsen things up. I don't know what are you going through but it's surely very big of a burden to you. Please do share with us.
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