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Learning from bad experiences is fundamentally wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! \\\###!!!!
5 years ago · 1 · Learning From Mistakes, +6
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One of the harshest realities in life that we must accept and deal with is the fact that the most effective way to learn is to learn the hard way, the fact that we must learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others lest we repeat them, the fact that we need to bad life experiences to learn life lessons.
Something feels so obviously wrong with being forced to learn life lessons against our will that I realized that there's something extremely disturbing and fundamentally wrong with learning life lessons from the bad things in life, and the necessity of bad life experiences as learning experiences.
Essentially and spiritually, learning life lessons from the bad things in life is self-contradictory doublethink! Because learning from mistakes (and other bad events) means that the bad things cause (or at least contribute to) the good things in life, meaning that bad things are good because they're bad! Suffering doesn't just teach us the lesson; it IS the lesson! Even if we don't support, condone, or embrace suffering, and refute the idea the suffering teaches us valuable lessons in life, that still does not change the fact that these life lessons owe their very existence to suffering!
Regardless of how valuable these lessons are in our lives, the lessons we learn from bad experiences are inherently and immutably corrupted in origin, because the very value and meaning of these lessons come from the very fact that we are forced to learn them against our conscious will!
The fact that many of the great developments of character that we experience would never have existed without all the terrible suffering that we had to experience, along with the fact that we need to hit 'rock bottom' at least once in our lives to make any meaningful character-defining transformation, means that suffering is fundamentally necessary in our lives like food, water, shelter, and other basic necessities!
In the end, the necessity of growing from mistakes, bad experiences, and all the terrible stuff in existence ultimately serves to make suffering an end in itself! In essence, it is nothing but insidious brainwashing that only exists to perpetuate the self-hypocrisy of real life! This incomprehensibly atrocious concept is so fundamentally screwed up, broken and corrupt that it should be discontinued and erased without a trace, and should never ever have existed, let alone even be possibly conceived of in the first place!
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I am glad you bring this up, I have had a lot of skepticism towards the concept of "lessons". When I was talking with a therapist about things that had happened, she kept saying "look for the lesson, find the lesson". I thought it was a somewhat cheap and lazy way of circumventing the pain and impact of the problem that needed to be addressed. Some suffering does not come with helpful 'lessons' for the future either. And chances are, that you may never experience that same problem again in order to be able to apply that lesson, or meet someone else to share that lesson with. So it can become meaningless rather quickly. Maybe it is evoked in a "make something positive out of your pain" thing, which I think can be possible in many cases, but not widely applicable. Then, people with a lot of wisdom are said to have acquired a lot of lessons through experience, when really, they probably experienced a lot of suffering and witnessed a lot of suffering of others. Then, there is the idea of 'suffering makes you more grateful for things you have', which I suppose is true, but could we possibly be grateful for it otherwise too?
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