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I’m having trouble with feeling things. I used to have issues with being highly sensitive and having panic attacks but it seems that after some therapy this is gone, but I have a new coldness in life. I don’t cry or panic much anymore but feel dreadfully insecure to the point where I’m exhausted by everyday life. I’ve stopped hanging out with friends, and feel lonely at the same time. My grandma has incurable cancer of the lungs, shoulder, kidney, and back and is slowly dying yet I haven’t shed a tear. I want to feel incredibly sad, but I can’t. I just feel worried for her and my mum. And my short term memory has declined rapidly. My hobbies feel like chores and the only way I recharge my batteries is lying awake thinking at night or being on screens. (I consider myself addicted to them, spending 5 or 6 hours a day on them. Wouldn’t be surprised since both sides of my family have strong addictive tendencies.) Being so lazy makes me feel worthless. I feel so insecure and like nobody likes me, especially since my friends don’t like me as much as I’d like them to. I also feel like I would be incapable of holding a romantic relationship, due to my extreme loneliness and insecurity I would be clingy, jealous and highly sensitive. I just feel worthless, and nothing makes me sad, or particularly happy anymore. I’m experiencing mild short-term memory loss. I feel like these may be symptoms of depression, what do you think?
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“One scenario that causes people to feel depressed without feeling sad is when depression causes them to feel primarily numb. They don’t feel sad, angry, joyful, or really anything at all. They may feel an amorphous misery, but no specific emotion.”
ReplySometimes if you block out most emotions you can get this way.
ReplyWhy are you so insecure? Some reason. Someone treat you like you like you were less than? If you can love you are not worthless. When you are broken many will say you are worthless & discount you. Dont let them. Many in society walk all over pain. Its sick really. We are supposed to heal the broken. Do your best to heal yourself & get some decent people around you. Over time too much pain creates apathy. Look up ways to deal with it.
All my best
ReplyThank you for your kind words. The source of my insecurities are most likely linked to the fact that I’m used to being mistreated (in the past) so I let people walk all over me and let them treat me like nothing because that’s how they made me feel. I’m still got Greta at standing up for myself and it’s left me with plenty of hatred for myself but I’m getting better. As for the numbness, I’ll just have to see what happens.
ReplyYou are depression but i believe you are at a stage of numbness. You are trying to be strong and nothing phases you right now. With time you will be able to feel again. You cant block out emotions.. Its not healthy thats why you shake its anixety coming from you not letting emotions out. I ised to have that problem. It takes time to get through but it is possible. You might have to make yourself cry just to start feeling again. Now i will warn you the first time you do feel again its emotion filled. But for me it was so much better than being numb. Some advice to help. Get off your phone an hour before bed. It should help you sleep better. Also a relationship is not a good idea right now thats too much to balance. You have to learb to feel and be happy before you can make another person happy. Try to change hobbies for a bit do something new to take your mind off of things. Good luck.
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